A blog post about dating in Uganda will not suffice. This material fills at least one book!
Ugandan men can be handsome and very charming.
They know how to tell women what we want to hear. Delivery of promises is an altogether different issue!
I’ve had more marriage proposals in Uganda than in the whole of my life.
I’ve been promised love, marriage, children (natural and adopted), meeting the family and even a house overlooking Lake Victoria!
And what have I got? My fingers burned – more than once …
I love the idea of having a relationship with a Ugandan man but the reality of mixed relationships is harder than I thought it would be, for many reasons.
It’s quite usual for your male Ugandan suitor to be:
- married
- living with someone
- a father of many children
- simultaneously with any number of girlfriends
– or all four!
Bare-faced lies are very common.
Still, Muzungu ladies are very popular and we all like attention don’t we 😉
Mixed Muzungu Ugandan relationships can be challenging. How to date a Ugandan. Dating Uganda
Make your own mind up ladies but don’t believe everything you hear. Enjoy the moment, as that’s probably all it is, despite what they say. Just don’t take it too seriously – and insist on condoms every time! Yes I’m being explicit …
The Uganda dating issue is going to run and run!
If you enjoyed this post, you’ll LOVE these:
Why do muzungu ladies like dating rastas?
Downtown dreadlocks – the Muzungu’s blind date
What’s your experience of mixed race relationships?
Please leave a comment here, I’d love to hear from you. (Just don’t ask me to hook you up with one of my friends!)
According to me, the way you picking your partners matters and determines how the relationship would be in this country. Please agree with me that we are cultured differently. In most cases, Jjajja you apply your western to get a partner in Uganda which MAY not be wrong but …………… A case in point, have you thought about why you more marriage proposals here than in UK?
Of course there are many cultural differences between Ugandans and Westerners. It’s one of the many things I enjoy about leaving in Uganda! That said, it is not always clear what our differences are, particularly in close relationships. We often make assumptions about each other’s expectations, without those expectations ever being put into words.
For example, I wouldn’t expect a man to ask to marry me unless we had been together for months or years. Why has that experience been so different for me in Uganda? Obviously some guys see the Muzungu as the meal ticket / access to jobs / access to a different life etc, and I don’t entirely blame them; even so, which woman is going to take a man seriously if he asks her to marry him first or second time they meet? I’m sure a Ugandan lady would just laugh at such a guy; so why should I entertain his suggestion seriously either?
Less people get married in the UK; and of those who do, more get divorced. That’s ironic really, sounds like Westerners take marriage even less seriously than Ugandans!
I’m not sure I quite understand your question tho Martin: are you saying I apply my Western standards when I’m looking for a partner in Uganda? I’m a Westerner, so I probably do. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I am a product of where I grew up; I can never completely escape that, but your value systems do adapt according to where you live. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to live in Africa; I wanted to take on those personal challenges. I have failed more than once in my quest! But “whatever doesn’t break you, makes you stronger” that’s always been my philosophy. And I’ve made some great friends along the way.
Your Jajja.
Hi Everyone… Please allow me to comment on that topic. I think whether you are back home or in Uganda, you will always find that people date for different reasons… Some would date for the obvious reason of finding that missing puzzle in their lives… However others will date for different things such as: security, friendship, financial gains, jobs, and so many others… This is pretty much the same everywhere I have been… You just have to be clear and open to the other person about what your expectations right from the start…
Hi Joe, Thanks for your comment. You are right, it’s always a good idea to understand what your expectations are from a date. I don’t expect to be asked to lend money on a first date though!
As for the different things that people want from a date, yes we may look for love, friendship, security [you missed out sex!] But financial gain? Jobs? Only in Uganda … bambi
Bambi?
I read a lot of these and thought there are a lot of Ugandan and surrounding areas where men have thought of being with a woman and fulfilling a dream without an idea of what that dream really means to them and what they will be willing to commit to.
Now with that said, I met a Ugandan man that is a member of the same church.
I married him knowing exactly what he wants and him knowing what I want.
I am finding now that we are married for a while that his goals are just that. He will not rest until they are met. The one great thing about that is my goals are the same.
We work well together. We like to enjoy being together.
These are all things to make a relationship out of.
One of his family members died fro. AIDS and he does not want that in his life so wants one wife and companion so he can live a good life and provide well for his family.
In conclusion, any other kind of man is just not a real man.
Nice to read you are happy 🙂
I want to marry a white lady
Why?
I am a South African lady dating a Ugandan men. I love him we are in our six months. But I still not understand him.
I think it takes much longer than we think to really get to know a person. If the relationship is very hard work, perhaps he’s not the right one for you. There could be cultural differences. What do you think?
Nokubonga are you in Durban?
I’m also in the same situation, I’ve been dating him for a year now,everything is is good but how I worry, he has never given me a reason not to trust him but for some reason I fear he only came in SA to make money n go back home to marry.
Sometimes you have to listen to your intuition… then again, what he came for and where he ends up are not always the same.
Perfectly said!!
🙂
I think funding a man is different from different people. It depends on who you meet. Play your cards right but all I know is most men in Uganda would die to marry a white woman. They admire White people so much
“They admire White people so much.” I actually find that statement really sad since this “admiration” is based on what? History, films, fashion, assumptions, gossip, real life experiences? I have to wonder…
Everything is possible in Jesus as long as you have puted your trust in him but for me any god brought for me I don’t care
Hmmmm I don’t get you
I am African-American and it was never my choice to be born or reside in the US.
And for this reason I love all of my 50 or more African countries and would live in the Motherland anyday.
I will eventually make that transition in years to come and never will I turn back or question my decision.
I have known for a very long time that I didn’t belong. I suppose it is my ancestors call all of us non-lost African-Americans back home.
As far as relationships Africans and Caribbean men & women have been have been given a bad name and often accused of just trying to obtain a greencard to various countries regarding opportunities.
I have met both Caribbean and African men on both spectrums and many want to leave their countries and other donot want to leave their country.
I have been in relationships with men who truly loved me and did not want any part of the US or did they want to transition here.
I was engaged to a man that did not want to come here yet I was not comfortable living on the Island in which he lived so we went out separate ways because there was no compromising.
Secondly, you pick and choose the mate you want to be in a relationship with so if you are attracting opportunist that’s on you.
Do your research before dating anyone.
My partner lives in South Africa has no intentions of living in the US. He has a well paying job 3x my crappy salary, has his own car, huge house and provides for his two daughters.
He could have easily chosen a lady in his country but instead he chose poor me. lol
We cannot assume that all foreigners are users.
I can tell you the minute I laid my eyes on my African man I knew he was the one.
I have also heard from African and Caribbean men that European/white women were only interested in the size and performance of their penises.
A soul connection is always important
ad never will I turn against my own brothers.
Hi Debra, interesting to read your story. As someone who loves Africa, I’m surprised you don’t know there are 54 sovereign countries that make up “the motherland.”
What an interesting comment “you pick and choose the mate you want to be in a relationship with so if you are attracting opportunist that’s on you.” Thanks sister!
Wow, that’s great to know , I would wish to be in my country too.I wouldn’t mind if u go.to Us and come after some time, and come over to [phone number removed]
Ideally , it’s just probably unfortunate that u met the kind of men u dated, but like in every country , dating has always been of free will, u date who u choose and who u desire, about being opportunists, I would say it depends on statue of the man u meet, u meet someone broke , definitely he would wanna settle with a white woman hoping for a meal ticket, u meet someone well furnished financially ,that probably wouldn’t be the case ,so all this story about Ugandan men dating white women for financial gain ,I totally disagree considering am Ugandan being very objective here
I definitely met the wrong guys – you’re right about that!
I’ve been talking to a Ugandan guy for the last 3 months. I have some reservations about him. I meet him online. He actually found me in a post I commented on from someone we like in common.
He plans to travel here this July and I there in November. I’m basically researching everything I can find on the web.
Do you have any updates?
Hello Tamara, how can I help exactly? What do you mean by ‘updates’?
Hello, thanks for connecting lonely Ugandans, am Bashir currently residing in Germany. Am looking for Germany lady to start our family.
I think you misunderstand the article.
I’m simply starting conversations about mixed race relationships, not hooking people up.
I want to marry a White
You know, if you heard someone say “I want to marry a black” how would that make you feel?
We are individual people, you and I. We are not just a skin colour.
I hope you find happiness but it may not be by the route you are looking for.
hi, am in a relationship with Ugandan guy now and we’re 3 years, am so in love with him and his so nice and gentleman, the only problem I have is he never ask me for a marriage but am not hoping he will do, but even do he will not am still in love with him and I will wait for the time he will ask me, and I will keep everything in God hands.
Wishing you both all the best for the future 🙂
I think at the right time all things will fall in place,the fact is we all need health relationships but sometimes fall for wrong people,we fall for people who have different motives.
I am a Ugandan man, working and with a a vision and dream of meeting my right companion and we make memories and build a life together but Luck hasn’t got me yet.
It’s sad that women have believed that all Ugandan men dating or trying to date a foreigner has a target and motives.
From my point of view,Will talk on my behalf,some of like myself are looking for true love and a partner I can be a man to, nothing less to that;A woman I can marry and enjoy our journey together.
There are Ugandan men who are only looking for Love and marriage and building a life,PERIOD.
Hi Isaac, I like how you express yourself.
You write “It’s sad that women have believed that all Ugandan men dating or trying to date a foreigner has a target and motives.” There are quite a few Ugandans who think having a white partner = a ticket to an easy life. You know, I think those people should realise how hard mixed race relationships can be. We may think we talk the same language but we have a LOT of assumptions and preconceptions.
Europeans are not used to paying for other people’s weddings, contributing to funeral costs or medical bills, or educating other people’s children (all things Most Ugandan do). We just don’t do those things in our cultures. Lesson no. 1…
Wishing you all the best in your search for ‘the one.’
Those are the right words my friend .. Assumptions and preconceptions… any relationship based on these can never work .. irrespective it is a Ugandan with a muzungu or a Ugandan with a Ugandan or a muzungu with a muzungu.. that is why many marriages in the west/northern countries like they are called these days end in divorce and the same does apply everywhere in the world.
I am married to a muzungu , and I love my Uganda so much that i have never had a desire to move to his country, I would not trade my passport for his or change my last name to his .. He is not my meal ticket, and FYI I earn x2 what he earns, he found me with my own house, and other assets plus i was debt-free and not yet 30. After two years of getting me to talk to him, we persued a relationship and then got married. (he found me here and nowhere else). I think the issue here is stereotyping and from your post you should be clear that this is your personal experience. Otherwise, stereotypes go two ways. Like all true longer-term relationships you choose every day to love and be committed to that person. Honest communication from both sides is the key.
You speak of not paying other people bills . .yes you dont do that in your culture, but we do so in ours, and this has been the case longer than anyone who has knowledge of the internet has been alive. This brings out our community and neighbour spirit which was not the case when i lived in London. It was every man for themselves. There is nothing wrong with this culture, and there is nothing wrong with yours, however if you decide to embark on a relationship any kind of relationship with a uganda/african, its important that you learn the culture as they learn yours and together you agree on what you want your relationship culture to be, where you both can compromise and where the deal breakers are. This needs to come up upfront. If you insist on your own culture without consider the other then it will not work, in this case i say give it a rest and stick to what you know to prevent heartache. relationship are only hard when there is no learning, accepting, compromising and knowing each other’s boundaries.
Polygamy, yes in African tradition it has been the case.. and there are women that live and accept it and as a culture i do not want to go into if its is right or wrong, i believe it is a personal choice. So if you are meeting polygamists, make sure you do you due diligence before you jump into the sack. In all relationships, you always do a due diligence , even on tinder 🙂 . And yes in all parts of the world you should always use a condom, if you are not sure.. yes AIDS might be an issue in Uganda, but this can be anywhere in the world including but to add HPV, WARTS,hepatitis etc …
When you stereotype, you become a white saviour, please be specific that this was your bad experience and do not put it all on Ugandan men ( i do not come from a polygamous family, neither are my brothers polygamous) .
PS: There a very many Ugandans, that have good jobs, one sexual partner, very few (European standards ) or no children. Maybe you should just change the circles you are spending your time in :-).
Thanks for sharing your story.
Like I make it very clear at the top of this article, and throughout my blog, I’m sharing my own experiences. I am not stereotyping, it’s just that most of my intimate interactions with Ugandan men have ended up like this. A big part of the problem is they have been stereotyping ME, making a lot of assumptions about what I stand for and what they can get out of me.
I have many great male Ugandan friends but the reality is the guys I’ve dated in Uganda have generally been a big letdown.
Can get for me the serious one like ur worship
“A serious one” – what is that?
But the answer is NO.
Hi, I’m dating a Ugandan man and he’s so gentle, loving and kind. I am so I love with him. He has a lying problem, he keeps lying to me about very small things and big things like where his from, who he dated before, why he doesn’t let me in. His very closed and admitted to having a very big problem. He makes me feel so safe! But I still feel like there a lot going on that I don’t know about. All his friends cannot believe I’m with him and always tells him ‘ such a pretty girl only wants you for money’ and it puts so much strain on our relationship. My biggest fear is that he has another girlfriend in his country or here. He wants to move in with me but I don’t want that. I just feel like he lies to me so much about all the little things how do I know his faithful. He seems faithful but I don’t know.
Dear Chloe, thanks for your message. I’m traveling at the moment but will reply when back in Kampala. I think you are right to not want to live with this man just yet. Trust your instincts. Take care.
Hey Chloe,
So sorry about that. The integrity of a person depends on one’s heart. In every nation, there are individuals with good genuine hearts, but there are also others who may lack such good hearts.
If someone loves you, he/she won’t lie to you. Please let go of the relationship.
Love is built on trust & trust is built on the truth.
The character of an individual can’t be easily change when someone is already an adult.
I am a Ugandan too and I have seen people with good hearts as well as others who lack such good values.
Please follow your instincts; every good relationship is built on honesty. If you don’t let go now, just know one day it will hurt so bad.
If you want to date a Ugandan, take your time to look again & you will find one with a good heart dear.
All the best.
Oh seriously that is bad..any way am Benard Olanya from Uganda Northern Region that is Gulu city…I would love to be with loving and caring white woman, this is my WhatsApp number [removed by admin in order to protect you]. am 28 years old now.
Iam Ugandan ready for u
You are?
Hahaha!
Haaaaa. Dude it doesn’t work like dat hahaha. I can’t believe this , dat u guys are talking , i need a girl to prove me. U guys maybe lying haha
I’m a south African dating a ugandan man I love this guy so much but we haven’t met. We’ve known each other for 5 years but have never met personally due to distance south Africa & uganda he keeps making empty promises about coming to south africa. I’m starting to have my doubts about him. I’m a born again Christian & so is he. I wonder if we ever will meet please help should I just end this with him or hang in there I love him very much. He seems to be everything I want or need in a man
Hello Angela, five years does seem like a very long time. I don’t think I would wait that long.
You say you love him but you don’t really know a person until you live with them. An older friend told me that once. My dating experiences have taught me she is right. I think you need to spend time together before you decide whether he is the one for you.
Hello everyone , I’m James a student at the University as well aged 23 and a Ugandan by nationality. I’m looking forward to date an Israelite girl or Lady and to be my future wife.
I’m honest, caring, loving, concerned about everyone’s life and above all God fearing. Christian by religion.
Sorry this is not a dating site… good luck finding your lucky girl 🙂
Ugandan men are unique & very different. I’m dating a Ugandan man 5 years now I’ve never met him but he shows me so much love respect. His sense of humour & has a deep love for God as I do we have so much in common. His values warm kind hearted, humble. He has actually made me love the country of Uganda. I plan to visit Uganda soon. I can’t see myself with any man but a Ugandan man
Hmmm. Ok. I wonder if you read my last comment? I read yours 🙂
you are right, most men have at least of the four features but this does not mean that there some some Ugandans who can make serious relations with the Whites. above all you can easily tell someone who is saying lies.
Most men “have at least four of the features – that is some revelation! LOL
Ooo sorry. If i may help. Wat u have to know is that from Ug to South Africa the transport fee is too much . maybe my dude lacks money at this point . Just understand him so that he can prepare himself when he gets cash he will meet u very soon
I have not experienced the feeling though i would like to,i am a ugandan, but i have seen and had loving storries from my friends have fun and feeling loved and handled gently by their white boyfriends, and i thing rhe feeling it self is such a magiacal experience that every man kind would wish for to happen to them. I wish luck to every one.
Well, not all white boyfriends are gentle, let me tell you! Every man is different from every other, and mixed race relationships have their own challenges. Few relationships are ‘magical.’ They may have magical moments but relationships require a lot of work, compromise and learning…
I want a white lady for serious relationship please?
Joshua, this isn’t a dating site.
H h eh ehe
Where do we find the real dating sites for bazungu. I have been conned and am tired fake websites.
Are there any ‘real dating sites for bazungu’? Probably not in UG. It all depends how you define ‘dating’ – there’s always Tinder…. or Bubbles!
I need a man to marry
And you think posting on here is the best way to find a husband?
Hahahah I love your replies
LOL. Some things have to be said!
I rarely comment on posts but your replies sound so Ugandan, and because of that am curious to know how long you’ve been in Uganda, I know Ugandans answering / replies are so brutal honest if someone’s actions are unpleasant, I have a friend whose adapted that too am actually a Ugandan in diaspora and I found this site trying to get to know the difference from other people’s point of you
To all the basungu’s trying to find a Ugandan guy, when dating please tell the guys how broke you are and that your life isn’t easy, that way you can easily chase off those who come for other intentions than love, I know you can get a good one but the ideal of them dating you because of Your wallet is terrible and unpredictable so to avoid that they did to know that they can’t get a penny from you. And how you got the man matters don’t date broke guys or guys without status because they have nothing to loose or protect find a guy who cares about his image alot because with a guy like that their are things he can’t do morally!
Hello Elsie, thanks for your comments.
I have tried that tactic before “I’m a volunteer and I don’t have any spare money etc” but the guy clearly didn’t believe me. To his mind, I still had more than he did and he believed he was entitled to some of it! For Ugandans who think muzungus all have money, that belief is firmly held, you can’t just break the idea so easily.
I once had a conversation with a man who was a collecting the rubbish from a building in Kisementi. I don’t how we started talking but I pointed out to him that there are millions of white people around the world who are very poor. Think about the large numbers of homeless people in developed countries like the US and UK. He laughed in my face. He thought I was making it up!
“Find a guy who cares about his image a lot” – now that sounds like good advice.
Try me
Two words from a random stranger – that’s not a lot to go on is it?
Honestly, at this point am just scrolling for the idiotic comments and your replies. Beautifully Savage
LOL. What did I start?! The comments are far more interesting than anything I could have dreamed up!
hey, still there ?
Hi what should I do to find a Christian white women for married I had that this is not a dating site but I’m serious I need a white young Christian woman and is willing to work with me to be become better
Go to church I’d say 🙂
Hahahahaa
Hahahahaha
There we go! It’s my first time here and I love it.
You’re most welcome! As we say… 🙂
Hahaha yeah
Hey, great comments and responses.
Recently met a slightly younger Ugandan guy on a work permit in my country. He’s pursuing, talking kids and wants to get there, but Im trying to keep it fairly light as we get to know each other. I was an expat in South Sudan for 2 yrs, so not ignorant of the potential differences/motives/complexities. Scary reading a bit on horror stories of marrying with hidden intentions/secretiveness/more than one girl on the go, but I guess we always take chances! So far, he’s seems open, willing to help with dishes when I cook (hinting at gender role beliefs), and thoughtful of others. I kind of came cruising looking for advice (and welcome any), but I think each relationship/person is quite individual and searching for hints could just lead to over-analyzing/over-generalizing(?). As you said: “Every man is different from every other”. Trust the gut, take some time. No matter who or from where, a relationship is a risk and adventure!
Thanks for the blog!
Thanks for sharing your story Julie. All sounds wonderful and I hope your relationship blossoms. I like what you say about time and not rushing things. I look at my closest relationships, and love realising how I am still getting to know those people, many years on.
I agree that we can fall into the trap of overanalysing and/or generalising but there are certain themes that crop up again and again.
Since first writing this page, I’ve had more than one marriage / family planning proposal. Most were obviously “unserious” but here there is a lot of social pressure to marry and have kids and I feel some African men go through the motions of having those conversations because 1) they feel obliged to and 2) they think it’s what you want to hear. As a British woman, when I hear ‘marriage / babies’ I hear ‘serious commitment,’ which leads to certain expectations. In East Africa, in my experience, those are frequently just phrases guy use.
I’d love to have a serious relationship with an African man but my first Ugandan marriage proposal was just so the guy could get a mixed race baby “because they look nice.”
Next one was from a Kenyan who was approaching his 40th birthday and feeling pressure from his family to settle down. Guy #1 had two children, but only chose to tell me about one of them. I think he also had a wife.
Guy #2 got back together with his ex-girlfriend and ‘kind of forgot to tell me’ (while still talking about how many kids he wanted us to have). In his case, he told me that he wanted children “that looked like him.” If he loved me, wouldn’t he have wanted our kids to look like me, or look like both of us?
In my dating experience, the African male ego doesn’t leave much room for a woman in the relationship!
When first I signed up to spend three weeks in Uganda, it never crossed my mind that I’d get laid haha
Another Uganda convert I see 😉
Haha they always do that to them , try a place in Kololo (hidden) for security purposes and don’t want to expose the place, it’s fun at that place
To quote you:”In my dating experience, the African male ego doesn’t leave much room for a woman in the relationship!” What is the African male ego really? Too judgemental.
How hilarious, you’re not even prepared to put your name to your comment!
I however, have been totally open about very personal things. Yes I am judging – based on several bad experiences.
Sounds like u have dated quite a number!
The survey required a statistically representative sample!
I think you should consider match making
For myself, or for you? 😉
Hi I am a South African Lady 25 yrs old,I must say Ugandan man knows how to treat woman.I’m so in love with this Ugandan man of God,he is humbled,loving,carying,God fearing man w just meet 3 months back.Yoh i never thought I could b able to love.This man God indeed blessed me with him.He is a good listiner,loves people,enjoys serving the Lord we have so much in common worse he is charming,down to earth.I nkwagala him so much
🙂
Hi The Muzungu,
This post got be laughing for a minute. Thanks for the good info though!
Interesting too!
Been reading this old post very interesting. Am 25 Uganda been trying to date Ugandans but I give up because I feel my destiny is a white lady reason being thats the mindset I developed since I was young. Is not so good judging all Ugandan men for one bad one you met. We all posses different characters and behaviour. I know am loving and charming guy but with one big mistake of being independent thinker. Started making decision early and no close bonding with Dad to mentor me how to love woman
I don’t think it is ever a mistake to ‘be an independent thinker.’ It is better that you know yourself and are true to yourself.
I would like to say all people are different. One be able to good loving, charming guy Uganda and another might not get same. So I say we all need to give one another benefit of doubt and give yourself 1 – 2 years of getting to know another and I think this goes for bother same culture or different culture. I know Ugandan cultures are different from the western and those relationships are the hardest. I’m a Ugandan man and I have friends both western and Ugandan, those married and dating but experience they go though is both interesting and difficult but they trust and communicate to each other and go though the difficulties.
Am a ugandan dude seeking for a white spouse babe
So are you looking for a spouse? Or a babe? Hmmm… why a white one anyway?
Hi there – thanks for you blog! I’m an Aussie woman in my 50s and met my Kenyan partner 10 years ago in London. He moved back to Kenya 5 years ago and I have been living here too in fits and starts as often go away to work and to visit adult children in Australia. It’s not been smooth sailing at all in our mixed backgrounds relationship- issues around money, trust and communication have emerged! But I agree and really like your comment that such mixed relationships are not ‘magical’ – there are magical moments sure but there’s also a lot of compromise and talking stuff through that needs to happen. Blessings to you all.
Hi Joanne, thanks for passing by. Dating Kenyan men – there’s a blog about that one waiting in the wings 😉
Hi There – I have been dating a uganda guy for 3 months now. We met at my office where he is a client. When all this started, he was all that i could ask for, everything i needed in a man. But then i discovered that he was getting divorced. Yeah but those weren’t good news as he “allredy” has someone who lives with him and raising the kids of the woman he is divorcing. At some point i asked myself where do i stand really? So i Asked him, He told me that he could take two wives and that he loves me too. I believed that. He’s been so good to me and very jealousy some time. 2 days wouldn’t pass not seeing each other and if he did not see me for a day he will want to know in details what i was doing and who i was with. Now Things have changed, a week go by without seeing him and calling him is just a waste as he is always busy or hang before you said what you wanted and when his busyness ends, he will expect to find me as happy as i was the last time he saw me. Loving him is so lonely. He keeps me on the leash and leave hanging like that. He is a business man i understanding, but i think am just hanging on straws here. Any advise please
Hi Mimi
There are all kinds of relationships and some women can accept that the man has another woman. I really learned that when I came to Uganda!
However, this man is not making you happy. I was sad to read your words “loving him is so lonely.” Love is not meant to be make you feel lonely, quite the opposite.
Guys are known for hating being asked questions (but you have every right to ask them). It seems you have therefore pushed him away by trying to find out what is going on. But perhaps that is a good thing?
I don’t like the sound of the jealousy. Jealousy does not equal care. When someone asks you if you have had a nice day, or you have enjoyed yourself, those kind of questions are okay but if they start asking you about who you been hanging out with and where you have been going, that sounds a little controlling. In my experience, you will get even more of these questions as time goes on.
I know it is hard to stop thinking about him but I would not call him. He should miss you and you wait for him to contact you. If you use this strategy however, you have to be prepared for the fact he may not contact you. But put this in perspective: you’ve only known each other three months, and he does already have a complicated love life, even before he met you.
From what you say, I don’t think this is going to be a long-term relationship for you. Take care 🙂
Hi Muzungu
Thank you so much for your response and the advice. It’s really sad to hear what you just said as I have fallen so in love with this guy, but at the back of my head i knew somehow that our relationship might not work. And since my message to you, I haven’t called him as i have mentioned that it’s just a waste and he has not called either. That says it all, we have no relationship here. It’s going to take me some time to get over such rejection but thank you so much for the advice, really appreciate.
Don’t take it too hard – he obviously was not the one 😉
Take heart dear, I’m sorry for you but loose hope you’ll get a perfect match
They are cold hearted I feel your pain
I certainly met a couple of mean guys along the way – I’ll save those stories for my book one day – ‘The real Diary of a Muzungu 😉
☺
Wow thanks for creating this environment for everyone to share their love experiences. This is so awesome that people are getting solutions from here!
Hi Mimi,
Have good day.
Dating a guy regardless of his nationality is quite exciting ,first the introduction and approach style where one side aim for long friendship or true relationship.My opinion first better to study the guy speech,tone of voice,topics, ask him his likes and dislikes, how was his family circle,make importance of his presence, ask or talk openly about his life of course happy life..his life wish ,plans and appreciate all as if u know him long time back and once you caught his life style and attitude , don’t expect anything but make all first impression is the best…If found like boring ask what motivates him .Only speak about yourself when ask… last , let be God in between your purpose whatsoever..
“Only speak about yourself when ask…” why? says who? that is terrible advice!
Run……u will find ur own why stick around for leftovers
LOL!
hmmm….am also interested in mixed relationships…bhu no chanxe yet….
Thanks everyone who has commented on this blog,but let me tell u this and it’s from the bottom of my heart,once I get a white girl my life I can really believe that anything u ask from God to help you with can really here u,
I want to marry a white girl in my life and I’ll waiting for her till and till.
Dear Bruce,
Have good day…
I will try to find for you..how old are you by the way?. Finding a white lady is easy but loving a white lady or any lady is almost the same tender loving care , your sincerity , faithfulness and God fearing person will blessed you a white lady from nowhere island soon come
Hilarious! Who are you anyway?
Thanks everyone who has commented on this blog,but let me tell u this and it’s from the bottom of my heart,once I get a white girl my life I can really believe that anything u ask from God to help you with can really here u,
I want to marry a white girl in my life and I’ll waiting for her till and till.
Oh dear Bruce, really – what do you think is so different about a white girl? 🙁
You think we’re all nice / loyal / hmmmm…. ? I dunno. I find comments like yours very worrying indeed.
He thinks all white ladies are like those he sees in erotic movies
Sad!
That’s confusing tho isn’t it? I mean many people say Ugandans want a muzungu “because we know how to love” (their words) but you’re saying the attraction is just sexual?
Hi Muzungu
Am enjoying yo blog, just discovered t. Awesome!!
Most Ugandan men lack depth, lie n r messy in my opinion. Coz they all have the qualities u mentioned in yo blog but they won’t tell u about them, u just find out eventually. Sometimes its too late n u also have kids for him now n u can’t do anything abt it. And why do they always start with a proposal? Or at least hit on it in the beginning which is always the last time u hear abt it.
I find myself very frustrated when I ask a question n I get this big explanation that is not even close to the answer. And the lying n evasive answers r just unattractive. Which is why I’d prefer to date a muzungu coz their answers r to the point, n at least I’ll know what they mean when they talk. I’ve come to realize that to date a Ugandan man expect step children, a few ex-wives, a few co-wives and some galfriends. If u don’t know abt them initially, don’t worry you’ll find out about them later. Am just praying that its not to late.
This doesn’t mean u won’t find the one who isn’t messy. Which goes to show why real diamonds r rear. So just shine yo eye well well, n take care. Am waiting for the Kenyan men blog.
Hello Sylvia, thanks for dropping by. I enjoyed reading your comment.
Now if I say any of the things that you say, I get told off for stereotyping Ugandan men. lol. So it makes me laugh that you have written this here.
Thanks for the reminder about the Kenyan men blog. Oh dear, dare I write it?!
hahahahahahahahah me am Alex is this really, FUN
The couple looks good,kudos
In Uganda people still have that stupid mentality that once you get a white man or lady all your problems have been solved.I have dated white ladies twice on a no strings attached basis.I over enjoyed my self and we are still simple friends people should stop entering in relationships because of money,whites aren’t ATMS.
Very true Michael, that’s a good way of putting it.
I frequently get people ask me if I can hook them up with a muzungu friend. I do try and offer them a reality check!
How i wish you would hook me up with one too. Am looking forward to that
Hello,
I’m so happy to be here on this blog. Have read stories posted here and some are so touching. I’m Dennis k 27years old, single with no child looking for a spouse an interracial relationship that will lead to marriage. I believe nothing is impossible with God and what He had bound together no man can separate. I believe every one has freedom of choice and please that’s what I prefer, Interracial marriage.
Good luck 🙂
Why did u choose to be called muzungu haha
If you’re a white person in Uganda you will be called muzungu – whether you choose to or not so I decided to embrace the term when I created my blog in 2008… I have had 1000s of laughs with the word ever since.
Hi I’m a South African dating a Ugandan guy he lives here in South Africa.It has been four years now we have a 8months old daughter.I love the guy and i’m sure I wanna get married to him one day,sometimes I don’t see that happening because he works with people,he fixes phones.Girls seem to love him a lot,he’s a soft heart now my fear is that I might loose him to one of these girls.he has a lot of female friends and I don’t like that,when I tell him about it he becomes someone I don’t even know.Do you think he will ever change..
Hi Trinity. What is it about him you want to change? From what you say, he has a nice life: a girlfriend, a baby and female friends too. He could be quite happy the way things are and not want to change anything. Maybe these friendships with women are innocent – maybe they’re not, I can’t say.
Ugandan men love having lots of children. Many Ugandan men have children with more than one woman. Just because you have a child together does not automatically mean you will get married. Whatever happens, I hope you are happy 🙂
Greetings
Interracial relationship seems interesting since it involves people from completely different background but to my understanding the rules of relations don’t change whether Dating a Ugandan/Kenyan/British, it good to be who you are, be real, define what you want and never settle for less, Never lose hope there is someone that will completely match your fantasies
I agree that you should be yourself and be clear about what you want from a potential partner, however cultural differences are real (and few of us are aware of them until we bump into them head on!) I know that from personal experience of dating in Uganda. We may use the same words but mean different things.
Hallo to everyone.
I’m a Ugandan gentleman. In my opinion, in spite of the fact that everyone has got to have their own differences, there are always primary love needs such as, caring, devotion, validation, to mention but a few on the side of ladies. If one has good knowledge of them, they can never go wrong with a love relationship …
I agree but even the definition of caring can differ between cultures.
What’s your say on having a travel friend or partner whatsoever? You got me? I mean one that has the same interests like mine, traveling and making tours, discovering the secret behind nature.
Are you a tour guide or a tour operator by any chance… ?
Sometimes I travel on my own (always the best way to meet people). Other times I travel with friends or family. Tomorrow I’m off to Kenya with two other bloggers…
What I know Ugandans are so welcoming and good hospitality to foreigners or non Ugandans, they would wish to know and experience a lot about different cultures but mostly Ugandan men should be judged by their actions not words , I can either lie or say the truth to always keep you happy
Hi Ephraim
Ugandans are seriously welcoming and friendly people 🙂 I couldn’t agree more.
As for men, I would say it is better to judge everyone by their actions (rather than their words). This applies to men and women, Ugandans and every nationality…
Ugandans men are great and believe me most of them are artful liars .
They will promise heaven on earth and there zero result regardless there are some other good men out there and that thing yeah use condoms whenever nature hits you .
Btw am dating a white guy I always get accused of wanting money or using him but that’s not the case we are just people who are in love it’s only the color .
Yes we go out sometimes I pay the bills sometimes we both do most times he pays he is my man after all but it hurts so much when people get negative ideas about intericial relationship.
Jesus I don’t know what am say
Muzungu I love your replies
Does your muzungu boyfriend mind that you are reading a post about dating Ugandan men? LOL.
Enjoy your time together. I wish you happiness 🙂
I’m a white male that planned to have a 3 month trip to Uganda to do volunteer work and experience village life. After a month my host introduced me to his friend. Instantly we clicked and became a couple for the remaining 2 months I was there. After I left to go to my home country we were in contact everyday. I was unsure of the future but she never gave up. She was patient and hoping that I would onday return. After 2 1/2 months of thinking about our situation and being in close contact it suddenly hit me. It was one particular day I made the decision to return and start a life with her. In a short time I was back in Uganda and committed my life to her then and there. A short time later we bought a plot of land built a home and we couldn’t be happier. We both cannot live without each other. We have a mutual respect and understanding. Each day we are becoming closer and our marriage blossoms. We plan to have our marriage legalised and both eager to start a family. It’s the love we had both dreamed of that is coming true. I hope this inspires others.
am 26years a Ugandan man my dream is to marry a white woman hoping one day it will come true
Hello to every one gere, iam isaac and am a Uganda who wishes whole heartedly to marry a white lady. She must be a trustworthy and honest one. Am ready to love and care regardless of what comes our way. Thanks!
This is not a dating site…
Hmmmm, my opinion my not count as I have not yet succeeded in dating a non-Ugandan, though it’s my childhood dream to date and hopefully marry one. I am grateful for your blog, comments and responses made by different individuals. I hadn’t asked myself a few questions in regards to the quest I am intending to take, but now I have, thanks to you. Hopefully when I succeed and go through the interracial dating experience in the future, I can be a better person.
I don’t know if inter-race dating ‘makes you a better person.’ It can certainly challenge you in all kinds of ways you never imagined.
Mixed race dating sounds fun until you are tired… ill… stressed… unable to understand what your partner is getting at or the cultural pressures s/he is under.
Why is it a childhood dream to marry a non-Ugandan? I don’t get that.
While growing up, I have always looked at dating a person of a different race and culture as very interesting to me. I am certain and aware that there will be immense pressures and a great deal of challenges, but it’s something that I have failed to get off my mind. I hope it doesn’t crash my heart. I am challenging myself everyday whether it’s a viable quest I should take or give it time and watch but still, I don’t know what to do. I find myself attracted to Asian Ladies esp of Korean, Japanese and/or Cambodian decent. Then of course fellow Africans exclusive of Ugandan and West African Ladies. LOL
It’s certainly very interesting to date someone from a different culture, especially if you like travelling and learning about different people. However, intimate relationships really test us to the core. When you add the pressure of being sensitive to each other’s cultures, you’re really asking a lot of yourself. It’s one thing to be attracted to someone physically. It is quite different to be able to live with them – and their differences – day in day out. They have to be able to live with you too as well!
Hey do
I’m ella, 26years…recently met an Uganda guy at the airport traveling from Dubai to Kenya, i have never been so attracted to a guy before, we started talking and he told me about he’s gf and all, yet h still went on flirting and professing love to me, claiming he doesn’t want to leave the girl and wants me too…i would have walked 1000miles away if any Guy tried such with me, but i have a very soft spot for this guy I’m so confused, never really like a guy before… I agree they are liars
How can he profess love for you when you only just let him?
Did I say all guys are liars? Hmmm. I don’t think they all are – only most of them! LOL
I’m attracted more to white women and hopefully will settle down with one. Would also love to read about what bazungu women expect in a relationship with the locals before I dive in 🙂
Being attracted to someone and wanting to settle down with them are two completely different issues. Mixed relationships are not as easy as you might think. We are brought up to think and act a certain way without even knowing or understanding why. These assumptions about good behaviour / bad behaviour / expectations about life only come to the surface when you’re in an intimate relationship. As a British woman, I can tell you that I expect a male partner to pull his weight in relationship and that means help out around the home, do some of the cooking, help with childcare, the supermarket etc. I expect have my own money, my own career and my own life. See whether you can get your head around that lot!
This place reeks of desperation !
You said it! LOL
Am Wilson From Uganda. I really love every comment here some inspire why others are hurting. but its ok we call that life.
Now, i have an issue at hand and i really need advise. I have been with my girl friend for now 8 years we have two beautiful daughters one Karen Another called Kirsten. I love her so much but a issue is ever since i met, we have been with problem because of men. she seems to be easy on every man that asks her out. I get to know but i never leave her i have tried to talk to her but she does not change. Worse still we take long to have sex infarct we might take a month without it and i have been thinking starting moving out to look for satisfaction though i know its not a good idea. I love her and i do not want our children to grow without their parental love. But i have started loosing feeling for her. what do i do please advise
Hi Wilson. Congratulations on being a father to two girls.
Let me start with the most obvious thing: if you’re not having sex very often, then there’s a reason. It does not necessarily mean she is with another man but it does mean that you two are not as close as you used to be. If you go out looking to have sex with another woman, you’re only complicating this situation, aren’t you? I would advise against it just now.
You say you “do not want our children to grow without their parental love” and that is a great sentiment but children can be loved in many different situations. If it comes to it, you can love and support your children without being with your girlfriend, not so? Your own happiness is also important.
My advise is to talk to your girlfriend. If you have never challenged her on the fact she sees other mean, then she clearly thinks she can do as she pleases – but for how long? This situation cannot go on forever without someone getting hurt.
Lastly, have you considered your sexual health? I would suggest testing for HIV (and other STDs) – with or without your girlfriend.
Good luck Wilson. This may not be easy but you deserve better and you have the power to make yourself happier than you are now.
Am not contradicting myself the fact that i have a girl friend who has given me two beautiful daughters and may be having such issues as stated in my first text. Do not get me wrong here but am being truthful. since i started growing into adulthood i have had too much feeling for a white woman and in fact i thought i would marry one day however, i fear approaching them i do not know whether i fear to disappointed or i naturally respect them. but my search for a one has never fedded advise am i being insane?
Now you’re introducing a whole new dimension to your issue (or was this the real reason you first contacted me?)
It is not for me to judge your sanity but know that dating from a different race can be really quite complex – especially if you have a serious relationship.
It sounds to me as if you should sort out your issues with your baby mama before you look to start with another woman, black, white or whatever. I can tell you this though: a British woman (like me) would not not appreciate getting involved with a man who is not honest with himself and her.
The views are really interesting Muzungu you’re 75% but it’s not Ugandan men only.
Have been in different companies such as
Zambia
Zimbabwe
South Africa
Botswana
Malawi
Uganda
Rwanda
Burundi
Kanye
Tanzania
Southern Sudan
But Men of different countries whenever they get a chance to a white skin lady they expect a lot from them
But sometimes they got disappointed in many things which they wish to from a white I.e
1. Love
2. Care
3. Money
4. Duel citizenship
But after realizing that your programs are going to be in Their country for a long time imagine 10yrs
They start seeing you as any local woman who doesn’t have what they may wish to get from you of course they end up going back to their women because the devil you know is better than the Angel you don’t,
And if their dreams are to have a white woman some they end up getting because new whites are entering their countries almost every day.
Dear Lawrence
Thanks for dropping by 🙂
Interesting to read how mixed race dating plays out in different countries across Africa.
Your comment about “white women who stay for 10 years” is interesting too! I certainly get the feeling that certain Ugandan men realise that they can’t play the same games with me now that they might have done when I first arrived here. I may be sidelined for that, but that may not be a bad thing! LOL.
I’m not much of a catch anyway: I usually get paid in UGX and if dual citizenship is on offer, make me a Ugandan 🙂
Besides, like you say, there are always newer, less aware ladies coming through…
It is interesting that the things we worry about our men, are the very thing white girls find wrong about them…The universe is speaking, Ugandan men need to up their game
Indeed, the universe is speaking – Ugandan ladies deserve better!
Hi. I have a girlfriend who is in love with a man in Uganda she has never met. I tried to convince her to be realistic to no avail. How can I check if he is married etc. she is saving to travel there. Thanks
Hi Paul. This sounds like an awkward situation for you.
Firstly there’s no easy way you can check if someone is married, partly because record keeping in Uganda is a hit and miss affair and also because there are numerous types of marriage here. For example, a couple may have had a traditional marriage but not a state registered one.
The man in question may not be married yet he could still be committed to someone. He may have children with one or more women and in my experience may not feel he has to share that information.
Sorry I can’t give you an easy answer.
How did your girlfriend ‘meet’ this guy?
I’f there is a single lady who wanna hook up with me I am available. My WhatsApp is [deleted]. We can take it from there. Muzungu blogger connect a brother.
Joseph, I have done you a favour and NOT published your WhatsApp number. Get serious. This is not a dating site
Hey Joseph, Just found out Tinder works in Uganda!! Miracle right?? Embrace it, its free!!!
LOL. Yes it’s free – but that isn’t always a good thing!
I am dating Uganda man but I do not know he is always talking about how mucg he loves me and he want kids with me and Marty me but there is something I suspect that he is dishonest
Hi Miss D
I can tell you what my girlfriends and I would say: if you suspect he is dishonest, then there is a good chance he is.
Sometimes you have to trust your instincts.
Hope you find a good solution 🙂
Missd you may be true you suspect your man to be dishonest, but still I can’t confirm any thing to you. Before everything if you have never meet before. It’s better you meet and may be stay for awhile as you study each other. But you need to be carefully not to consider before you take your final decision. Some one only to promise to marry you when you don’t know each other well may not make a meaning coz after sometime you may end up breaking marriage. Any way out of my experience I had a white lady who we dated with for two years, she was everything to me in all my dreams, she was from USA Texas. Now time came, we had arranged for my travel to meet. Now I called her and reminded her to send me an invitation so that I can process my visa because she was independent and working as a nurse in Miami hospital, she told me that sorry already I met some one, I thought your were just on jokes. My dear I cried all crocodile tears because I had all hopes in this lady and I knew she was ready to settle with me. What pained me a lot was all my time I wasted and committed all my self for her. Up now am still puzzled just can’t believe what happened. Any way am Ugandan but currently working and living in Qatar. So back to your point, make sure you meet with your man then you will discover the truth.. But that’s life relationship is not easy to make and mental..
Sorry it didn’t work out with the American lady but perhaps it was for the best in the long run. As for getting to know someone, it really takes a long time.
We are quick to judge if we feel there is a connection with someone, but it doesn’t mean we know each other. I think of friends or relatives I’ve always known and realise we are still getting to know each other. If that’s true, then why are we so quick to try and settle with a life partner? It’s not surprising things often don’t work out. Mpola mpola…
My question is why do Ugandan men like interacial relationships? Is there anything wrong with your Ugandan women/sisters? Jus curious to know
When I hear men making negative comments about dating Ugandan women, it usually relates to money and how much the man is expected to spend on her. Most bazungu women are more financially independent (but it doesn’t mean they want to carry a man financially).
For many, there’s a curiosity about dating someone from a different culture.
Here is my little dating story.
I met this mzungu Australian man in Entebbe. And we been dating for for almost a year. Two months when I just met him he moved to Australia and promised to came back.
What makes it interesting is that he a few months when we just started dating .i could tell he thought all I wanted from him is just money. . now because I know that most men not only whites think every woman wants money. Waited for me to ask him for money but in vain.
Then he recently confessed .
You are really a different kind of Ugandan woman. You never ask me for money.
I just laughed loud.
Because deep inside me I know what he expects of me
So I try very much not ruin a good relationship we have and hoping
For the best
I love my country Uganda.
And fact that he was is interested to came back and settle in Uganda made me even like him more
Because I fear westerner kind of weather and life. May just to visit
And then suddenly mzungu changes his mind. Beat I want move you to stay here with me same day that was such a turn off
But I still like him. And hoping for happy marriage same day.
I am just too marriage minded but
Dating amzungu isn’t that joke
Its like reading ahuge book of chemistry. It dosent seem to end
But all in all . I love it that we are finally camping to understanding
Of each other.
I can’t wait to meet my mzungu again when corona virus clears
Because I am truely into him
I really like him. Not anything but for truely
“You are really a different kind of Ugandan woman. You never ask me for money.”
Hi there, thanks for sharing your story.
It interesting that you fear western weather etc. I think a lot of Ugandans have very unrealistic ideas about what life is like in “outside countries.” You can live a good life in Uganda without travelling. What people don’t realise is – let’s say northern Europe (UK Germany, Netherlands) and a lot of the US and Canada – the weather and the long dark winter nights really control your lifestyle. In the northern hemisphere, during the winter months of November to Feb/March it does not get light until 8 o’clock in the morning and then it gets dark at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. This means that you leave for work when it is dark and it gets dark when you are still in the office. Plus it can be extremely cold. You have to spend money on buying warmer clothes and boots and you have to spend money heating your house. We have taxes on everything. In the UK, you get taxed on your television and if you don’t pair every year then you can be thrown in jail or getting massive fine. Although you can get hundreds of types of different foods in the UK, Ugandan foods are hard to find or expensive. I think is far more realistic to stay and live your life in Uganda, rather than looking for opportunity overseas.
Hope it works out with you and your Australian man 🙂
I love reading all comments ,May the good Lord continue blessing u even in this new year.
Good luck
Sorry for what you have gone through. But your post ignores existance of genuine lovers in Uganda… My question then here goes… Are all ugandan men liars or unmarriable. And if your answer is affirmative, then your opinion holds
This blog is based on my personal experiences. I was just unlucky.
I love reading every comment here, thanks for sharing your relationship experience in Uganda Ms. Muzungu.
🙂
hahahahha….must have been fun!…I can imagine the surprise
I Love Ugandan men very cool they are they but my main man Josephgbgjhj Decided to leave me for my mother,m very sad time this is but my depressiobngvb is still there… pkls give advice to a yearning wamen in love I miss my hubby
Hi Chesta, your man left you for your mother? Oh my, that sounds complicated.
Pooh my God, it’s real too bad and it hearts when there are also some single serious men out there yearning for pure love. A lucky guy like that decides to go for the mother and leaves a young hearted lay you may be, it’s scary… But that’s life the only advice I can give you is to try and meet some one else because if you force love you may end up doing foolish things or run mud. Thankx
Yes!
Some black guys see bazungu as meal cards
But thats not love
I refer that to stealing
Love is when u passionately love someone
Money,sex and fancy things shouldnt be the first
Note here
But understanding eachother
U know!
I like bazungu
If they fall in love they totally do
But African ladies are mostly after mone
i wont say all of them
but most
Money iz a material thing which anyone can get anytime
But they dont know
Big up to bazungu they know love
I hope God blesses me with one
Hi Eliphaz, I enjoyed your ka poem!
Enjoyed the poem too! Hey ya, I’m Zimbabwean based in Dubai met this ugandan guy 2 yrs back after my break up with my fiance whom i had dated for 6years. Initially I didn’t want any relationship it all physical for me as i was tranna get over my ex. I must say this ugandan guy knows me better than all men i have been with my entire life, he can read me like a book, he is a mugandan, Christian guy soft spoken dark skinned beautiful white teeth and has very big heart but like wat someone said earlier,these white lies bug me Anyways, recently he moved back to Uganda after proposing, so he has spoken to my aunt about the dowry and he wants me to join him in Uganda and start a fam with him..Interestingly the day we started dating he told me that I would become his wife and he has always addressed me by his last name. I’m a bit apprehensive as I’m unsure of what to expect.I know without a shadow of doubt that he loves me more than i do bug I’m just not sure whether i would fit in and all.I am confused part of me wants to go and at the same time scared of the unknown.
Hey Rose, nice to hear from you. Wow sounds like you’ve met a rather lovely guy!
I think I would be as apprehensive as you about travelling to your boyfriend’s home country for the first time. Would he want you to settle in Uganda if you get married?
It’s impossible to imagine your life in Uganda without trying it for yourself. I think you just have to come and visit and see how it feels. Perhaps you should take a little pressure off yourself by not focusing on a wedding but more simply thinking about whether you can adjust to life here. To date, I imagine you have had a ton of quality time together. In Dubai, you are both away from your home countries and families. If you settle here in Uganda, you will have to get to know and spend time with his family and friends. That’s a big adjustment, and you may love it!
If this guy really loves you, he will help you adjust and fit in. Best of luck!
Am 28 years and a Ugandan. I think all people from different parts of the world know how to love. It depends on who you are expressing your love too. Just like when it comes to giving, One might value a small gift just because no body gives them gifts and to another is a reverse . Back in days when I was in my early 20s I wanted to marry specifically a white lady. My main reason was to to change my kids colours(OBAMA) but as I have grown up. Right now am not sure how the relationship can work if I get an opportunity for a serious one. Personally I don’t believe in divorce(makes you lags behind especially in development) Marriage in world has reasons why people do marry. Number one has to be love, The other reason , financials, immigrations etc come last.I do understand when a white lady decides to date a Ugandan man . Many will see an ATM but most educated Uganda wont think like . Your dating to these males should also be considered along side the education pass and families too
Muzungu THANK YOU
want to get a muzungu plz,am 40 years gym instructor, body guard,motivenal speaker,my mobile number … watsup number… age 28_38,thanks very much I will be happy wen I get one
Good luck but this is not a dating site.
I do not publish yours – or anyone else’s – phone numbers on my blog. I suggest you take a bit more care about your personal security.
I think one of the problems people have here is the too much expectations from the relationships and then you Western ladies thinking we ugadan men are desperate and look at you as money trees. Some of us have jobs, have standards, homes and Christian values. When we date we are looking for someone to share life and whatever we have. If you understand what it means to be Diaspora away from home finding a man who is honest and well settled with his own house means you’re saved from hotel expenses and many other insecurities. Although most ladies too are not Christians so their relationships are based on world standards.
I agree, expectations are high and unrealistic.
Re “Western ladies thinking Ugandan men are desperate” I disagree and would rephrase that differently.
There are some people (men and women, of all nationalities) who think that they can take a big shortcut in life by marrying someone who they think is rich. They usually end up disappointed, for many reasons. Marrying someone from another culture isn’t the quick answer to life’s problems. It comes with its own challenges, and these are constant.
am 37 year single looking for a woman for marriage a born again ready for missionary work
Good luck but this is not a dating site or a match-making site. Telephone number removed
Am John ramu 32yrs likes awoman 20-35yrs in any country but am poor.
I need awife
Good luck!
Hey there,
I’d first of all say thumbs up to the author of this post. It’s quite interesting when someone opens up to the world and share their personal experiences.
Just as she said it’s her personal experience. You could have had an opposite experience with hers but that doesn’t eradicate the fact that both exist.
I’m not a person so much in relationship stuff but at least I’ve dated two ladies in my entire life. Just as she said “what doesn’t break you makes you stronger”. I’m currently going for my final year at Mbarara university of science and technology probably in August. Right from my highschool I never used to interact with females. Not because I don’t love them but because I had phobia for girls since I attended most of my school life in single schools.
So here at campus I get myself my first girlfriend (Ugandan) it all started as she could often come to my place for econometrics discussions. For the first two weeks discussions were perfect but later on things changed when she started coming to my place and started teasing me. Of course like any sane creature you’d react the way I did. After finishing our mid semester exams things changed as she could tell me she has a discussion with someone so she couldn’t make it. Later on I find her naked photos in my friends phone who then tells me that she told him that was how she wanted to reward him for discussing for her. What a bad start for me in relationship stuff! Heartbroken and looking stupid. I promised myself not to date again I guess that’s what we all say when we’re hurt.
Life moves on and I’m in my second year. My university partners with some international universities like Lund university which always send their students here (they usually spend here two to three months) depressed I was. That’s when I started doing liquor. I realized liquor only makes forget something for a while and then once you sober your mind goes back so I tried finding some sport to do when I’m not reading so I went for lawn tennis trained for a months and one evening a nice looking Swedish lady pops up and says ” hey there guys!, I’m Lisa from Lund university. Do you mind if I join you?
“It’s fine” we replied. Time went on and I actually became very close to Lisa. After a month we went to a known club in Mbarara district (club Vegas) started boozing as if we had been told that the world was ending the next day. Try Asking me what happened in the club after getting drunk and you’ll have to kill me because I reckon nothing all I known we woke up in the same bed. Probably the best night I’ve had in my life.
Time passed and we kept on doing it a couple of times.
If I don’t say she’s the best lady I’ve ever met then I’d be a moron.
I felt like this was the perfect girl for a partner. I still believe she is however she told me it’s better if we keep it as an open relationship for she wasn’t ready to commit to a guy since she is bisexual. With due respect I accepted to keep it the way she wants it. We continued with our fantasies till when she had to return to Sweden.
What will experiences will I have in my third year? That’s a question of time……
Jaja hope you keep me heads up when you post again.
Regards..
Rijjaz
Hi Rijjaz, thanks for sharing your story. Well girlfriend no 1 should have known better. Sorry to read what she put you through (and what a fool she is to let someone else share her nude photos).
I like the sound of the Swedish girl. At least she was honest with you, that counts for a huge amount in my mind. Plus you had fun
By the way, well done for giving up the booze and taking up sport. Not easy but definitely better for your physical health, mental health (and wallet!) I get the impression you respect yourself
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To be honest I don’t think getting a girlfriend could cross my mind again. Comparing my two experiences I think the last encounter was the best one.
It made me understand much about dating.
I find your blog quite productive to me since I’m now thinking of touring and understanding my country more before I embark on other destinations for I now believe being in love with tourism is a bit fun than fooling yourself with someone who has hidden in tensions.
Last week(Saturday) I started with the Bunyonyi islands with a couple of my classmates and tomorrow I’m planning to travel to jinja from Mbarara.
Though I’m a native Ugandan I believe you have more information about the tourist sites,their charges and any info that you think would be relevant. Jinja being my home place I plan to be there for two months. I’ll be doing internship whoever I spotted some free periods within which I can use to explore and understand my roots.
I’d be glad if you mail me some info. I believe it’s quite childish to pen down my email or contact details here.
Kindly drop the info in my email since its one of the perquisites to comment here meaning you can have a tress of who commented.
I’d be glad for that.
Definitely I’ve already subscribed and looking forward to your new posts.
Respect Jaja.
Nsimye byowandika
I find travelling incredibly satisfying. It’s not only about travelling, it’s about the planning, the anticipation and then afterwards you get the memories and photos too!
I used to want a partner to travel with but on the few occasions I have been with a boyfriend, they ended up being a disaster! LOL.
I’m glad you’re finding my blog useful. Let me know which areas of the country I haven’t covered yet? I am soon to publish a new page about Jinja but will send a sneak preview on email 🙂
Safari njema
Hahaha “I used to want a partner to travel with”lol
That’s a catchy one!
I already travelled back home to Jinja probably I’ll stay here for two months.
I’d like to put Jinja as my next tourism destination after having enjoyed the one in Bunyonyi islands last week. Soon I may also start a blog your my inspiration on that.
#Sawa_yakulambula for those who don’t understand luganda, in the harstag I meant #time_to_tour
Ohh hey Jaja maybe we’ll tour together sometime probably not now hahaha maybe when I return to Western region for my final year of studies in August.
How about that!
Happy travels Rijjaz, hope we meet somewhere along the way – I’m likely to be in Jinja in July. Like my Facebook page for the latest travel updates 🙂
Facebook ain’t my thing Charlotte.
Probably I’ll drop a mail to you tonight or tomorrow after work.
Stay well girl.
Why Uganda women like to cheat their local boyfriend when they meet a white man. Women can have a local boyfriend and wait for a white man she met is school and training programs. They hook married white man when visiting Uganda. Sometimes I feel to understand why Uganda women are so possessed with white men
Hi Anikah. I totally agree with you, why do certain women want to hook a white man? I tell you, mixed-race relationships are a lot harder than people might think. Some see white skin and think money and an easy life. It is not.
Your comment made me sad.
haha I went through almost all the comments. funny, sad, amazing other were entertaining.
Now going back to the topic, A man meeting you on the first date n and wanting to marry you it depends it might work out or not, I have a teacher of geography who told us that “when I met my wife for the first tym I proposed their
and then, I told her will you marry me or not” but upto now they’re still happily married for about 10 years now.. But offcorse they had to date first be4 the marriage.
For the mixed marriage s, there’s a myth among some Ugandans/Africans that whites have plenty of money. Thats why someone will fake it until they lands on a white for a relationship/marriage. they’ll pretend to be in love with you yet theyve got selfish desires , some of which they can’t disclosed to you.
so its always key to be patient be4 you get committed to some one , take yo time , both parties should be open minded for every one to enjoy while in the relationship.
nice day.
I think you’re right. Patience is key – even if you feel from the start that the other person is “the one for you.”
Hello fellow bloggers, well and good every one has a reason for dating a white lady. But according to me and the research have made many poor boys looks for whites because they are mentally ignorant. They think all whites have money and rich enough to solve their problems. While others wants to try new things with different races, they believe as far as love is concerned whites have great and pure love when they meet black guy. NB as for my reasons am one of those but the reason why I love white ladies is that they can show you pure love. They are so romantic and brave when it comes to real love white lady can kiss her man any where, in church, super markets, public transport/tax and buses unlike the black African lady who can only kiss her man in bed. This is a fact and I have some friends of mine married to white ladies and have always been with them. Thanks
In the UK, we say “there is no such thing as a free lunch.” That means anything that may look free has terms and conditions attached. Having a mixed-race relationship requires a lot of effort.
Yaa your very true but still some people are so furious as they not first look into terms and conditions that may apply. They are just to fulfill the own interest which may our them problems in future. I may not mention any identity of a friend who loved a white lady and this lady was comfortable with that guy. So she went ahead processing all papers and they moved together to UK as a couple. Just after one year this guy was deported because of breaking the marriage agreement, he started sleeping with other ladies and then he was reported to the authorities and was deported immediately. So we need committiment and to be focused on what we want. Not to use some short curtain simply because you want away through.. Hahaha too funny but reality.
“Fools rush in where angels fear to tread”
Wow…
Followed all this touchy, saddening and educating experiences. For the blog, I must appreciate the muzungu. As a Ugandan I should say dating a white woman and subsequently marrying her may sound prestigious however most of us forget the balance of life. I have no experience with one however just thoughts about loving one the way they are with their cultural difference keeps tickling… Hope I’ll meet one sometime.
The ideology by most people to date for money makes it a dead end in a relationship however it just depends who exactly you got as a partner . *It’s lucky day or night*
Education and Wat they do for a living is important and I think other fantasies will always fall in line as love blossoms
Sometimes we just wish to be happy with who we find as love and not what they have.
Thanks for this blog. it opens minds.
LOL…
Webale kusiima. Thanks for the appreciation.
I like your statement: “The ideology by most people to date for money makes it a dead end in a relationship.” I hope you are wrong and that it is not the majority of people who date for money (but the minority). Dating someone for what they have (and what you think you may gain from them) is a shortcut to disaster, unless you have a lot of other things in common. Saying that, you meet couples who come across as ‘chalk and cheese’ (total opposites) yet somehow that can work for them.
What is the secret of a successful relationship? Whoever works that out will be the richest person on earth!
Hey people here, Am Isaac, am a serious Ugandan man aged 28, am in search of a white lady 25-35 For an honest relationship that will lead to marriage. Please don’t regard all men to be the same here in Uganda. We differ socially.
Thanks everyone.
This is a very interesting topic, unfortunately it’s the men who are only commenting, and it’s about the Ugandan men, what about the other side of Ugandan women dating white men, I would love to get a hint of challenges they face and how to go about the relationship cuz I would love one day to date a white man!
What you’re saying is that I need to write a “how to date a muzungu.”
Can I ask you: why would you like to date a white man? What are you looking for? What are your expectations? What is it about dating a muzungu that you think would be different from dating a Ugandan?
Hi. This topic should be posted in UK, mostly London groups/pages, to educate British/European women on Ugandan men who live in the UK/Europe. The horror of reality is that they use the same tactics of lies and lead similar type of lives over here. And while local women not being aware of that type of culture and mentality are conned into fake relationships just in the end to figure lies out and find out about his wife in Uganda, his wife in UK, whom he lives separately from and multiple children all over the place. They laugh about it. They’re proud of themselves every time they fool another woman. Children are the gift from God and more the merrier! Such Ugandan men state that it’s mother’s responsibility to bring children up in a western world so they’re not taking any responsibilities… The result – a new generation of half Ugandans growing up in Europe not knowing their roots, never been told/taught about Uganda or introduced to Ugandan side of the family. Some hardly know their Ugandan dads, some don’t know at all as so called dads are too busy chasing and tricking new women… And indeed it’s a laughable subject for them. Thanks to your blog, that’s an eye opener to Ugandan culture. But for them to laugh off immoral and sensitive subjects such as abundant children, that’s just cruel.
What is it they say: “You can take a man out of Uganda but you can’t take Uganda out of a man?” (Something like that…)
It does make me pretty sick when I hear men boast about how many children they’ve fathered when some of them are no kind of fathers at all. Sticking your what what in a woman doesn’t make you a father.
Here in Uganda, we can at least try and work out our cultural differences but like you say, if you are in Britain and you meet a Ugandan man, how on earth do you know what you’re getting into? What I’ve come to realise is that culture is so subtle, we don’t always realise how we are acting differently to one another or how we are perceived. It’s therefore hard to reconcile the differences, because we are simply not aware they are there.
I have recently met a few young Ugandans who have visited UG for the first time in their lives. They really don’t know anything about the country, sound totally British or American but quickly fall in love with life here. I hope all Ugandans born outside the country get a chance to travel and find their roots. Diaspora friends say it does take two or three years to get used to life here!
By the way, if you know anyone who has Ugandan children in the UK (or anywhere outside Uganda), do introduce them to the lovely books about Nkozi and Nankya, developed by Solomon Jagwe who lives with his Ugandan wife in the USA. They’re available on Amazon.
Thanks for taking the time to share your views. You’re certainly welcome to post this link on any groups or forums – and write a Guest post too?
Thanks so much for your reply. Very helpful and I’ll use this info indeed. I might write a post later…
It’s sad that such behaviour is accepted as norm in UG society. Shocking cultural differences: what is moral/acceptable/humane etc. and what is not.
Charlotte, you have such a broad understanding and tolerance, wishing you all the best with your work and life.
Who knows, in few years time we might use your travelling tips or/and services.
Thanks Anna – after ten years in Uganda, I’m only just scratching the surface of my understanding of culture. One thing I do believe though is how ‘hard wired’ our birth cultures are. Even Ugandans who think they are very Western – who WANT to be Western – have deep-seated Ugandan beliefs.
My biggest piece of advice to all of us in mixed race relationships (and that includes friendships) is to really get to know each other well, in different and testing circumstances, and to always talk openly about every little thing. You cannot rush understanding or empathy.
Great advice! I get what you mean about ‘wiring’ and inner beliefs. Also, in my opinion, time and knowledge not always brings empathy and acceptance where is a huge lack of morality. Could be quite opposite. One could understand/acknowledge cultural differences but some of them would be not possible to accept or tolerate. When women are disrespected and taken for granted or even treated as they’re less worthy than men and their needs. When women are told: come on be strong and deal with it, you’ll never be the only one for any man. Do whatever you’re told to do and so on. When children are left to grow up pretty much fatherless or with such bad role models around them… And they aren’t hold accountable for their behaviour. There is no law to punish them. My understanding is too limited perhaps. Or shall we just all laugh about it
‘Morality’ differs from culture to culture – there are few absolutes. What you and I may find unbearable, others may accept…
As for laughter, you can’t beat it at times! One thing I love about Ugandans is their humour in the face of adversity, in the face of bad luck and everyday frustrations too – it’s a very endearing coping strategy. Lord knows a Brit would prefer to rant and rave (and burst a blood vessel!) when sometimes you just have to let things slide – and be aware what is within your power to change, and what is not.
Hello, muzungu, u really sound like u have been in UG for ages.
One thng i would like 2 make clear is the fact that in ug, its very prestigious 2 hav a white lady. I dnt know why, but my dad always insisted that i marry a white lady and wen i asked him what was wrong with my fellow ugandans, all he said was they were not good 4 me.
Really – if I met your dad I would give him a piece of my mind. Denigrating your fellow Ugandans like that is shameful.
I really enjoyed reading through comments above though I have not read all. This is charming. Promise to read more and follow this page because it got everything I have been searching for a while, thanks for everything.
Cazinda Artist
Actually the replies above are not bad however, some are kind of discouraging. Pliz Lets make sure that we encourage our friends Instead if you don’t mind.
Who are we encouraging? and to do what exactly?
I have nothing much to say but from heart and mind I just need a muzungu lady for my dream to come true.I hear they are so loving and caring and when they decide to love they love.So dear friends am in Uganda Masaka and am single.So any single muzungu out there am ready to love you with all my heart to treasure en respect ma dream
You hear “muzungus are so loving and caring and when they decide to love they love.” Are you saying Africans don’t love each other?
Have you not heard about the high divorce rates we have in the West? In some countries, 1 in 3 marriages ends in divorce. Consider that one.
I read somewhere that Kenyan men especially us from the Maasai tribe are the most loyal. You know just saying
Maybe I need to write the Kenyan version of this post? My experiences of dating Kenyan men have been (how shall I say it? ) mixed!
If I were to write “How to date a Kenyan” where would I start?
Have you read ‘White Maasai’ by the way? I found it fascinating!
I am a gentle Ugandan man interested in dating a good white lady. Contact me if your a good white lady
I’m a “good white lady” but this is not a dating site. Single but not searching.
hey, i found this blog quite hillarious but informative. the thing about ugandans is we are so good at pretending. Am ugandan and i love uganda but most ugandans can be really good at scheming when it comes to relationships. we are so good at pointing a finger at the western world when in reality are no better. ugandan men are even good at encouraging foreign men too try their women!!!! and you expect them to respect you? c’mon! to all foreigners tempted to date a ugandan; BE VERY AWARE!!!! DANGER ZONE, KEEP OUT! We even have a case were a yoyo boy(as kenyan girls like to address those swaggerific male youth) broadcasting on a popular ugandan tv station right infront of his muzungu lover how he was only into it(the relationship) for the money and to travel abroad..and the whole time, the old lady was smiling blissfully infront of the camera ignorant of her lovers luganda insults! why do ugandans feel all bazungu are rich? we are a third world country! why are you unable to comprehend we feel that? its the question of the egg ànd the hen, who was first! let’s leave it to Jared Angira. boy i love this blog!!!!!!!!
Hi Brenda, webale kusiima 🙂
Too bad about the ‘yoyo boy’ on TV with his muzungu girlfriend. I hope someone translated for her and she dumped him!
These kind of relationships rarely last. The fact is, a lot of Ugandans who get to travel have no idea what life is like in other countries, and don’t adapt.
Thank you so much for this wonderful post that has stayed for years. since Agust 2013. Have read all comments and replies. I love the information embedded, from around the world.
Kudos mzungu, mukama akukuume,
waiting for a meet and greet party for your fans
Glad you enjoyed the conversation – so what’s your view on this topic?
Just as your points are valid, a big number of Ugandan men has been misrepresented. Your claims are right and you seem down right settled on your argument which brings about bias because even when a person talks about a good experience with a Ugandan man, to you its unimaginable. However not all are like that and a majority to say. I think all this is given on your experiences but i do hope you get one that can make you forget all the fake promises.
Hi Charles, good for you for sticking up for the good guys! And they are there but where do I say a good experience with a Ugandan man is unimaginable? I have male UG friends who I think are great boyfriends and husbands. My experience has been different that’s all… there’s a good guy out there waiting for me I’m sure (if this blog hasn’t totally scared him off!) LOL.
Thanks for dropping by 🙂
Wow, going through this has been sad, educative and Hilarious!! As a Ugandan woman, when we go to hangout to places where expats usually do, we can tell the type of guys and girls there looking for a “Blesser” in a white person. And it often is sad to see ladies fall for it. (Okay its sad for guys some times too but wish, that’s another kettle all together)
Anyways for every Muzungu hoping to date in Uganda I would say one thing, be very vigilant and set personal boundaries. Think of it this way, a guy who wants to date you for you will treat you right and who wont feel any gaps. This applies to interracial relationships too. You want to date for Real, look for stability if he doesn’t have it he is not for you. A man who asks Marriage the next day that’s just bullshit.
I guess you really need to just think of Ugandan men as just men. Meaning when he lies no matter how sweet he makes it look, he is lying. Also many of them do.
Some controls for you if you feel he is fishy, before you get serious to having kids and families meet his. If he says he doesn’t have any ask him to take you to his “village” Its not asking for much. If you are going to marry me well the least you can do for me is let me in. If he wont then he is hiding something so my sister run for your life!!
Anyways, I could go on and on but just make good genuine friendships with local Ugandan ladies, hang out with them if u are planning to meet guys, they can help you see through some of this bullshit
Hi Vyda, thanks for dropping by 🙂
I like advice about muzungu ladies hanging out with Ugandan ladies. Having said that, I asked a good Ugandan girlfriend of mine for her advice regarding a man who wanted to date me. This was back in 2010.
“What do you think of him?” I asked her. “He is no worse than any other” was her reply. She didn’t outright condemn him (!) so I thought let me give it a try…
It was a disaster. He didn’t want to tell me about his children. When I asked him if he had any, he told me about a girl. It was a few weeks later that he dropped into the conversation that he had another child. I felt he was hiding his children from me – and that seemed very weird to me.
In the meantime, he wanted me to have his baby for the deeply committed and heart-warming reason that “people tell me that mixed babies look nice.”
[Sucks teeth and walks off…]
One day I’ll write the REAL Diary of a Muzungu!
Hahahaha. Can’t wait for the “REAL diary of a muzungu!
LOL. Is the world ready for that?
I need a muzungu girl. Help me to find someone and your their. Lets start a real knowing each other.
Oh dear, why do you need a muzungu girl?
This is not a dating site…
I know, was only looking for the idea, cse thats the passion i feel. Thanks
i am looking for a nice african lady in her forties for friendship marrage.
Well that’s refreshing to read! Good luck
hahaha as for me um looking for muzungu
Any white woman contact me to know more
How discerning!
y’all looking for December dates
Although it’s not a dating site, pliz madam don’t just tell me that “i wish u a good luck”but atleast have some thing positive as a feedback i humbly request madam pliz,have mercy on me.I’m a ugandan 22years old.Since my childhood in our family,my real family members used to abuse me because am a bit more black than them.The advantage i have is, although they used to a buse me a black boy,but again i look more nice black beauty boy & others used to think that am agirl. During that time, i used to cry be’se of their bad words to me.I felt like, i was secregated or discriminated from my family & other people so i reach a point of kill’g my self.It’s be’s they used to tell me that i will produce all my children black even more than myself.This was my courage, i used to tell them i will marry my wife a muzugu.From there i used now to fear nearing my fellow black ladies up to now be’se i know that they will laugh at me being with a black girl.I attract many gals bt i stay from them be’s of p’ples wads.beta m’zugu.
Dear Bina Boy, your message has made me feel very sad. (People can be really horrible can’t they?)
I’m really sorry to hear how your family have treated you, you deserve to be treated A LOT better than that.
And so what if your children are blacker than you? Where is the problem? That is so superficial, so wrong.
Please care for yourself. I know people have said some very hurtful things but you will get through it. Growing up is hard, when we’re 22 we have so many worries and insecurities (wherever we are born) and it’s really unfair that you have this on your shoulders as well, but a word of caution:
Looking for a muzungu may not be the answer you need. I say that because there are many many Africans who would be just as shocked as I am at your mistreatment so don’t mistrust every Ugandan. You have to give them a chance. Also, don’t think that every muzungu could be your saviour. If you’re doing that then you are the same as your family “judging people for the colour of their skin.”
You know this for yourself – you are not your skin colour – your skin is just one of a million things about you. It should not dictate how you are treated or how you feel. Read this poem. It was written by Abdullah Shoaib.
It can be read both ways.
I’m very ugly
So don’t try to convince me that
I am a very beautiful person
Because at the end of the day
I hate myself in every single way
And I’m not going to lie to myself by saying
There is beauty inside of me that matters
So rest assured I will remind myself
That I am a worthless, terrible person
And nothing you say will make me believe
I still deserve love
Because no matter what
I am not good enough to be loved
And I am in no position to believe that
Beauty does exist within me
Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think
Am I as ugly as people say?
Now read the same words again but this time read it from the bottom line up 🙂
Interesting comment, This is very phenomenal.
I’ve been reading all articles and comments on this site, almost all day, and am just learning all this bitter truth, know how some ugandans b like about whites like they ‘ve found all that life in them, true i would also like to have a white babe coz i wud like to try that feeling, tho now am its all gone.
Had friends that used to tell us to go at bubbles Acacia rd and that we shud have dreds, All Whites we desired were hanging their LOL, Am changing that piece of mind and thanks to lazy me
Hi Rogeth, thanks for reading my blog – some of the comments are quite eye-opening aren’t they?
I’m not surprised to hear people recommending you go to Acacia Avenue with dreadlocks it’s a cosmopolitan area that’s always popular.
I’ve had plenty of fun there over the years but there’s a sleazy and depressing side to some of those bars. (A lot of people – most people – do anything to avoid those kind of places as they attract a lot of fake attention).
I married a Ugandan man.! ❤️
Congratulations!
What ,what a beautiful poem you sent to bina boy kid ,it’s so inspiring ,read by both sides hahaha.
It’s an amazing poem isn’t it?
I hope everyone reads it.
Hi
I am new here will be moving to UGANDA and will be living near EBB airport on a project . I will be alone and definately want some ugandan friends. I am a photographer and aviator . Drop me an email people who are intersted in me . I dont want any one doing drugs or multipe partners i am a clean person wants some one clean
Hi David, welcome to Uganda and hope you have an AMAZING time.
For your safety – and my sanity – I am not sharing your contacts. I really don’t want the responsibility!
my face book profile pic i am holding a brown rabbit in my hand
Did you pull it out of a hat?
hi muzungu, am a ugandan. for sure people date for different reasons. some date for security financial gains and some times the off springs and the likes, but for what I think some one has to find that one person who makes you feel the beauty behind those love feelings. for me as me I would like to find a muzungu because of the off springs coz in my eyes they are the cutest
OK well at least you are honest – but choosing a partner “because of how your children may look” is a little superficial isn’t it?
Think about all the cultural issues you need to negotiate as a couple. Being children in a mixed race family can be very confusing for many people. I know this through personal experiences of people who I am close to.
Do you think it is ok to give that responsibility to a child just because “Daddy thinks they look cute”? Think about it.
I dated a Ugandan who wanted us to have a baby (very quickly – we had been dating for three weeks). His reason was the same as yours. “People say mixed race babies look cute.”
Where is he now??? GONE.
need a white lady
For what?
Hi there. I can personally attest that most ugandans are amazing. It’s just a matter of communicating , learning each other’s differences and being honest. I fell in love with bagandas in year 2016. Had met an amazing muganda by then unfortunately we separated in 2018 somewhere around February. Im in no position to bad mouth the guy
I was so in love and really loved him. The only challenged I came across was him not being honest with me from the beginning. Hiding his baby and on top of that got someone else pregnant and that was when I had to leave. It actually took me a whole 1 year to actually move on. I had to gather all strength I could and heal because I had told myself he is my forever. But distiny didn’t allow of that.
I am happy now that i finally found another muganda but hopefully this one is quiet different.
Im actually not thinking of the worst! I love him too.
To make it short , bagandas are really amazing
They are so different and unique in their own way oh Lord
Hi Selinah, let’s be honest here:
You are entitled to say whatever you like about someone who treats you with so little respect – “hiding his baby and on top of that got someone else pregnant!”
You say destiny did not allow a future together. No, he did not allow a future together. Hiding a baby and getting another girl pregnant did not just happen by accident.
Anyway, good for you, you have moved on and I wish you all the very best.
Hiding their children is one thing I can’t understand about Ugandans. I had a boyfriend who did that to me. We talked about having a baby but at no point did he mention he already had children of his own.
When I eventually asked him, he told told me about a daughter. Some weeks later he mentioned a second child, a boy. (How many kids did he really have?) And why the big secret?
I’m British. In my culture it’s not common for people to conceal children so I find it quite a shocking trait here.
In Ugandan culture, you are low hanging fruit or have baggage if you have kids from previous relationship especially if you were never married, you are considered to have been promiscuous and irresponsible so some people are not very willing to disclose that info at the beginning because of insecurity and fear of scaring away a new partner especially if said new partner has no kids( meaning no drama attached)
I understand that but I also think it’s pretty unrealistic since there are many people with children who are not married.
To go to the extent of lying about having children is pretty unforgivable. I don’t think I would trust someone who lied about having kids.
Hi m dating this guy from uganda, now it’s 3 months he treats me well, he gives me love that I wanted in a man, when ever m around him I feel so loverly or special coz he makes me feel like m his queen But at first wen we met he told me that his name is Richard from Jamaica den after a while wen time goes by I saw his permit n passport written his name is Edward from Uganda now m confused cz what he told me is not what is written on his passport and wen I ask him why he lied abt his name he dnt see anything wrong abt that n he said to me he’s got many names that he name himself. Now m no longer trusting him and ever since I know abt his real name I still dnt understand why he told me lies about his personality, please help me what to do coz I do love him but the trust is no longer there.
Hi Beautiful
There are a number of reasons why someone’s name may be different in real life than what is on his passport (in Uganda at least!) I have a French surname and it is spelt all kinds of ways here in Uganda. Does he have bad handwriting? Could Richard be read as Edward if someone is in a rush and failing to understand what he has written? I was once issued with a cheque book that had my middle name (which I never use), my first name (which was incorrect). The cheque book did not even have my family name (surely the most important part of my identification?!)
A lot of us have different nicknames but I think you need to understand what’s going on with this guy. The fact he has many different names doesn’t mean he is lying to you BUT I would want to understand his thinking. I think there is more to this than what you are sharing with us?
WAW waa waw i love this but way me am a ugandan en wanna marry a ugandan lady its not because i cant marry a muzungu , i can also do that but my heart fell for some one so when i decide to push my self into another relationship . aw i look at this as unfaireness. nway have enjoyed your comments guys . but the issue is about some one falling in love and its not that all ugandan men or african men are like those you met on the way my dia muzungu . if some one trully falls for you then you guys will be together regardless of thinking about security issue, funds and the rest so its about true love .#lisabk
Hey Ismailal, I appreciate your sentiments. Thanks for dropping by 🙂
Wishing you and your lady all the very best
I would rather have a female friend than a fiancee. Too much trouble & heartache in the world of love. I give my best & unfortunately don’t comprise when lied to. You would rather hurt someone with the truth than mislead them with a lie.
Oh dear, sorry you’ve had a rough time – but don’t give up, I’m sure a true lady is waiting for you.
I can’t put up with liars either. You are right not to…
This is interesting and I am happy to read all your comments . I am a Ugandan and in a relationship with a British sweet girl and dated for 5 years and then made a decision to move in together and now we Have two beautiful babies . Life before moving in together was very simple as we used to do things on our pass. Things turned around as we realized that our expectations were different and now both of us asking our selves if we happy .
All I want is to know is that we fall in love and most of the time never ask our selves about the difference of our cultures ,the kind of husband or wife you want and I am very sure today these muzungu finding for opportunities is fading off . I love my country and can’t see my self in any of the European countries and I have shred this with her but I can visit for a few weeks .
The kids thing is in rulable in our African setting Because if with no biological ones there kids you Must be supporting which doesn’t apply to the western setting .
Hi I think you have two things here, not only your different backgrounds but also the fact that you have young children. Many relationships struggle when the children are young because the adults don’t get much quality time together.
Also, relationships change and evolve. This applies to friendships, lovers, even how you relate to your own family members. So keep that in perspective 🙂
I think it’s good that you know you don’t want to live outside Uganda because so many people think that “the grass is greener” in Europe or the USA and really have no idea how difficult it can be to adapt to a new culture. You cannot guess at most of the challenges you will face.
This article tells you about how to date Ugandan. This article is very knowledgeable for everyone. I would go for this site even in future when needed. Great blog indeed, will visit again future to read more!!
Hello my fellow bloggers need advice and knowledge how to go about this!I have adream of meeting white lady in my life as my life partner.Am aguy who loves dreads and I got them through out my head.I tried to travel to different places like White nile camp,black nile camp/source of the nile and many other places where white ladies chills so that I can talk to them and start up conversation hence get to my point.But whenever I meet them I fear to start aconversation with them this misses the chance.Marrying white lady was my dream and even up to now I still have that hope and I try as much as I can though I fail to some other points.I have already grown up in my 30s’ but I got no girlfriend and even I have Ugandan ladies since I know what they are!NB So need advice my friends who were like me coz indeed need to fullfil my dream..But let no one hesitate to advise me on any way!!!!!
You post on my blog thinking that I’m gonna help you check out white girls? I get a lot of messages from Ugandans who want to meet bazungu. I have to ask you why?
You are not likely to find a proper relationship in any of the places you mention. That’s where people hook up for the weekend, end of story.
I’m a white American woman who was talking to a Ugandan man online for nearly 2 years. He was a couple years older than me. I knew it was a bad idea, but I was lonely at the time. Now that I look back on it, it was all super weird. He would tell the same types of things like those described in this article. He was over the top with his proclamation of “love” for me and planning our future together. He would go on about how beautiful, sexy and hot I was, send me very graphic sexual messages and pictures about what he was gonna do to me, was adamant about proposing to me as soon as I would get to Uganda. He was also obsessed with the idea of impregnating me and apparently wanted to get me pregnant very soon. He went on about how beautiful mixed babies are and wanted to make several with me. Ugh, so creepy. I’m so glad I stopped talking to him for good. Ladies, if you need a sign, this is it. Stop talking to him!
Hi Diamond
Proclaiming love… proposing as soon as you get to UG… impregnating… OMG it all sounds so familiar.
I was with this guy for just a few weeks before he wanted me to get pregnant. When I asked him why he was in such a rush, he replied how pretty mixed babies look, or how pretty his friends said mixed babies looked. He couldn’t even be open with me about the number of children he had. Looking back on it, I think he was married anyway, or living with someone.
I’m glad you got away from this one. There are too many of these guys out there…
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Just landed on this blog post and the comments have left me in stitches! But seriously, as a Ugandan who has dated both white and black men I find that white people always treat us with suspicion be it women or men. Majority of the men (not all if them, some are respectful) all treat us like street walkers, even when they met you while you were working had your own home an assets. And the majority of the women, again not all, go for the ‘rasta’ boys who are hustlers in the city. We have all stereotyped ourselves that it is difficult ti find a genuine person be them white or black. But as people have pointed out research and conversations before taking the plunge are important.
Hi Miz Em, I agree, some of the comments here are LOL hilarious.
You write about white women going for the ‘rasta boys.’ Read my blog on that subject – that one went viral!
The key to mixed relationship is to talk, talk and talk some more. It’s very easy to make assumptions about each other. We are all guilty of it. I made assumptions about the first Ugandan guy that I met. I assumed that if he wanted to have children with me, he would tell me about any children he already had. I was quite wrong about that one!
This blog post has made my day, I have been reading all the comments and some are just so hilarious. It is a fact that Ugandan men can have kids without being married, or not in a relationship, but have kids, and still want to date you. Not married, but committed to someone, Committed to someone but not married.etc. I have seen this as I have grown up.
To those who want white ladies, what is that you want about them? ‘the nice looking mixed kids’? Amazing? This cannot be the reason. Let’s be real
Hi Shafiq
Oh yes, we have plenty of laughs on this post!
It’s fascinating to compare cultures and human relationships are often complex and often misguided!
I get a lot of people who tell me they want a Muzungu girlfriend / boyfriend. This usually means they want an easy life (as they assume the muzungu will have money, cover their costs, get them a Visa to “an outside country” or something like that). These are all assumptions anyway and the quicker Ugandans wake up to that, the better for everyone.
Mixed race relationships are more demanding than when you date someone from your own culture. I know from personal experience and experience of my friends.
In my view, the people who say they want a muzungu are probably the least equipped for a mixed race relationship (since they appear to be looking for life’s shortcuts).
There are very few shortcuts in life and this is a good example of that. You may think you are getting rich quick by hooking up with a Muzungu (generally false by the way) but actually you are going to be taking on a lot as well. You may have to completely re-evaluate your views of life. It ain’t easy. Stick with what you know (your own culture) unless you are prepared to do a lot of reflection and compromising. That’s my advice…
Hello everyone , I’m James a student at the University as well aged 23 and a Ugandan by nationality. I’m looking forward to date an Israelite girl or Lady and to be my future wife.
I’m honest, caring, loving, concerned about everyone’s life and above all God fearing. Christian by religion.
This is not a dating site…
Haha..I think i found a gem on the internet.Consider me a fan to this blog. I really do enjoy people’s comments,very diverse and interesting,also very insightful.
LOL Mugi, thank you. Webale kusiima.
We have a lot of fun discussions on Diary of a Muzungu Facebook page.
This forum is interesting.Sorry about your negative experiences @the muzungu.I promise there are far better Ugandan men out there.The men who keep asking for white women here are also an embarrassment.That lot is what people look at and think damn! Ug men are so desperate but that’s not the real picture.Am from Entebbe 😉
Hi Entebbe guy, you’re right, a few of the people who post here come across as desperate (deluded or misinformed might be better descriptions). That is not the whole picture of dating in UG, thank goodness 🙂
That’s right.At least from the conversations I have had with other men, there is some kind of curiosity as to what dating a mzungu woman can be like or more interestingly sleeping with one.Lol! But besides that, they are aware of the cultural differences and the few I know who’ve gone ahead to date and marry bazungu ladies have kind of made big adjustments(Some now use sunscreen lol)Also I’ve seen the bazungu ladies trying to adjust to our crazy Ugandan ways.It must be a fun but daring experience.
There is plenty of fun to be had when you date someone from a different culture – you see the world through new eyes. Some people feel threatened by that though. They learn things about themselves they are not comfortable with.
As for black men using sunscreen – it may sound funny but why not? Skin cancer isn’t funny and black people can get it too … (it’s less likely but still possible).
I’m actually more attracted to black guys, especially those from the horn of Africa those guys are soooo hot. I’m Ugandan BTW. I just I get my right one very soon
Hi – just stumbled over your blog doing research about Uganda, and I could not let go until reading it from start to end
Living in Copenhagen as a Muzungu woman, and are working a lot with Ugandan ladies living here, and actually they claim the same behaviour from Ugandan men, and that’s why they search abroad. Some of them.
Love the culture they present, and hope they find happiness here – or elsewhere…
Going to Uganda soon in work related travel, and will look forward to be meeting these African men who can fill up a blog with this amazing context
Stay safe ⭐️
Hi Elsa
Thanks for dropping by.
I’m sure you will love Uganda! Especially since you already have some insights from your Ugandan colleagues.
Do be wary of some charming – but rather predatory – types who hang around popular bars.
Read Why do muzungu women like dating rastas? Read the comments for the best insights! Educational and hilarious too! (Please share with your Ugandan lady friends and say MUJEBALE KO from Nagawa, the muzungu).
Love it!!
Hi muzungu
I’m happy for having read some of the messages here. My concern is that after three years of searching for a white man and failing.
Hi Ruth 🙂
I don’t know what your personal reasons are for wanting a white man but most Ugandans have a lot of preconceived ideas about bazungu. Don’t assume the white man has money, don’t assume he will spend it on you (if he has it), don’t assume he will be religious (he may or may not be). Instead consider the fact that he may expect you to pay halves to run the household and supporting your wider family (contributions to weddings, burials, school fees) will not come naturally to him.
Stick with an African man. THEY CAN DANCE! 😉
From the comments I get on this blog, most Ugandans looking for mixed race relationships have no idea about what they are getting into. Read the comments for more insights Why do muzungu women like dating rastas?
I need a Germany lady to marry, remember I am a Ugandan from western my mail is …
I deleted the email address Robert shared.
A. this is not a dating site and
B. don’t share your email publicly – put your personal safety first.
I am from the USA, I have met a Ugandan man he is slightly younger than me but he is very mature and I have actually learned a lot from him. I have never met a man here in the USA that was as passionate as me about art, and Entrepreneurship I am taking the time to learn Luganda and we communicate so well! We are friends only, though he told me tonight he loves me and I realized lately I really miss him whenever we are not talking.. he is so sweet I’ve never had any man treat me with such respect.. I really want to visit him to meet him in person.. how do I achieve this? How do I get into volunteering in Kampala aswell?
I really have been losing my mind because I never thought I would fall in love with someone from another country. I have no thought in my mind that he has a motive with me as a white woman with money he’s never asked me for anything and I am not wealthy by any means.. of course if I told anyone my true feelings they would assume I was being scammed out of my money. (Only a steriotype) I offered to help with getting his mom a house and he declined my offer and said he was saving and didn’t want me spending my money.. He still messages me consistently everyday.
I would marry him if he asked me and that’s just crazy and out of the normal for me.. this man has stole my heart and I feel we have sooo much in common with us both being Christian and being rejected by our families most our lives having passion for art and music.. I am so grateful. But also keeping my mind open to the possibilities that he may not even want to be with me.. considering we’ve never spoke of it. He is so respectful.
Hi April
It sounds like you have met a good guy and it would be unkind for anyone to assume that he plans to scam you. I know many mixed couples who are happy together but there are cautionary tales too about conmen too.
I sense happy vibes but I think you need to meet this man before you can find out if he is the one for you. Travelling to Uganda on a tourist visa is going to be the easiest option. For $50, you can stay here for three months and extend for another two months while here. Although you are coming to visit a Ugandan, I suggest you use a regular tourist visa (rather than go through the process of asking him to host you and fill in that extra paperwork). However, that might be a good test of your friendship?
As for volunteering, it’s not as easy as you might think, unless you go through organisations that arrange volunteer trips (which you’d have to pay for). A volunteer work permit costs $250 and has to be organised through a NGO etc.
It was kind of you to offer to “help his mum get a house” – and even better that he turned you down, in my view. You may think you are “just a regular Joe” on an average salary, but believe me, that’s probably a lot of money when translated into Uganda shillings. Most Ugandans will think you are rich (simply by comparison to them). By the way, there ARE rich people in Uganda as well!
Good luck and keep us posted 🙂
Well to be honest about Ugandan girls. most of them need someone who possesses money and other big things like cars or even being popular. Most Ugandan women think there is no love without money . Instead they should think of accepting the man they have feelings on and later there will be development than having someone who doesn’t have love for you but only lust .
I can understand a woman wanting a man who can give her financial security, but that’s not necessarily the same as “wanting money and cars.”
I agree that women should think of accepting a man they have feelings for but “later there will be development” how does that work?
Muzungu: Is this your opinion of Ugandan men and Africans in general ? In your writing, I only find prejudice, superiority complexes, and the reinforcement of negative stereotypes. What makes you believe that the treatment of white women/(or)you by some rogue men in Uganda or East Africa differs from the treatment of other women regardless of nationality? You seem to imply that you are a unique species, and that all these men want are your pounds or some sort of greencard ? a very narrow reflection.
Let me tell you, THEY, TOO, HAVE STANDARDS. If that is how you enter every relationship, it should come as no surprise that you have one too many in and out.
Hi Kato
I have lived in Uganda for over 10 years and everything I share is based on my own personal experience. Of course it does not apply to all Africans or all Ugandans. What a ridiculous suggestion.
If you want to know more about my work, please check out my Facebook page which has a lively, engaged and very positive community of mostly Ugandans.
It’s interesting that you found this post. You must’ve been looking for an online date. Wishing you all the best. It’s a jungle out there…
In this! What is relationship? according to me relationship is having a partner may either be sexual or not but under friendly basis, in we the westerners we respect relationship mostly to those already reached in our parents hands because we fear shaming our parents of which it may be too expensive for other tribes. For example like our family respect of you choose your life sexual partner you take her back to your mother home for introduction, once you announce to your family that you got a partner the whole family, relatives, neighbors and friends will gather so there are some people who don’t disappoint according to their aim of choosing you to their partners
Thanks for your comments, Dan. Always interesting to read how different cultures approach the issue of relationships.
In Europe, we do things very differently. It is up to the individual to choose who s/he wants to marry / partner with. Of course, we hope our partners get on well with our family but we believe that it’s not for the family to decide who should marry who.
One day I was choosing a marriage material partner but I moved around through all my dearest friends but there was none funny enough some are used to tell me that if a man is not outgoing can’t marry him it gives me more knowledge on how to choose a partner, according to me or my experience relationship depends on how you choose, what you choose and again how you choose your partner will also determine your relationship
This could be the second time I’ve read this article in a space of some years.
Some of the comments from non-ugandan ladies praising Ugandan men and yet at the same time having caution stemming from the ways of the men makes me think that you should also write about Ugandan culture, especially about how in most tribes, we are raised to be gentle, caring and to never disappoint people; we are raised not to be deliverers of bad news/misfortune. As a result if we are ever to do those things, we tend to gently and ‘politely’ disappoint a person such that we don’t really burn our bridges with a very hot fire. The story of the dude with a girlfriend telling the lady that he can’t leave his girlfriend but still loves this one he just met at the airport is a classic example of him not wanting to tell her that he would naturally want to sleep with her without her expecting him to leave his woman. He wants the bridge to stay intact perhaps for a continuous relationship while he has his girlfriend to whom he’s devoted. The story of the lady to whom all manner of lies have been told and yet the man is very good to her is one of those things that show you a person’s character showing through what our culture trains him to be as a person. We are raised to be gentle, respectful, caring and to protect but if a guy also lies and cheats, the poor lady shall get a gentle, respectful, caring, lying, protective cheating man. Our cultural training also demands that a man works to satisfy his woman in all aspects of life (including and especially in the bed and sometimes that confuses a woman who might see a chap ‘delivering exceptionally on all fronts’ like a very dedicated person would do and yet at the same time lying and cheating)
With that said, like amongst all the people of the earth most ‘Apples’ are good, the bad ones are few: Ugandan men are good men. The women are exceptionally good because of the cultural emphasis on raising them to be gentle, humble and exceptional in some essential aspects of life