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Lash goals

Lash goals. Yes dear reader, that’s a thing!

Yesterday I went shopping on the British high street. (After my year in the forest, shouldn’t that be something to get excited about?)

The task was simple: buy some mascara.

One of the upsides of living in Uganda is there’s not a lot of choice. Yes, to me that’s an upside because the options in the UK are OVERWHELMING. You can dither endlessly. At one point I wanted to walk out of the shop empty-handed and then I reminded myself how lucky I am (I thought of a few Ugandan girlfriends who would be agog at all the products on offer!)

This photo shows one quarter of the intimidating “makeup wall.”

Do I choose between black and brown mascara?

How much should I spend?

Those are the small details.

First consider: microblade effect. natural volume. dual wand. smudge proof. curl addict. masterpiece divine lashes. waterproof. lash boost complex. lash sculpting. big drama volumising. long shot lengthening. wonder extension full stretch technology. And then there’s “false lash Bambi” – one for my Ugandan friends 😂

Beyond the marketing vernacular, did I want to buy a vegan product? Or something made in the UK? Had the mascara been tested on animals? I could feel my head exploding. I do miss having ethical choices in my shopping decisions but they are a whole other headache too. (To be honest, I don’t want ethical options, I want ALL products to be ethical).

I love culture shock but it takes me time to adjust to the UK’s consumer culture. I don’t much like it.

(I have always had mixed feelings about the (over)abundance of options and the unrelenting pressure to spend, spend, spend).

Have you travelled from Uganda to UK or Europe? How did the shopping experience make you feel? Did you run screaming from the shop?!

The land of 1000 … surprises! A solo exploration of Rwanda

Want to explore Rwanda? An ABC of Rwanda’s tourist accommodation – AirBnB, boutique hotels, camping and luxury lodges

A recent trip to Rwanda revealed such a wide variety of places to stay that I thought I must share them with you. Although Rwanda pitches itself as a high-end destination now – and has some wonderful luxury lodges like the remarkable Virunga Lodge – the country has a wide variety of accommodation for all budgets. It’s a very easy country to travel around too (although Ugandan friends did freak out when our vehicle started driving on the right side of the road!)

I seem to have developed this habit of leaving home for three days and returning after three weeks. It’s hard to resist the invitation to visit new places, especially when you’re already far from home (and your toothbrush is packed!)

The early morning bus from Kampala to Kigali is so much more pleasant than the night bus. (Why on earth did I take all those night buses?) I used to think I could kill a night by sleeping on the bus but sitting on the bus is no recompense for lack of a bed. I love Jaguar’s new wide ‘VIP only’ seats. There’s plenty of legroom and – hooray! – working seat belts. I’ve been using Jaguar Executive Coaches between Kampala and Kigali since 2011.

Despite rumours of bad politics between Uganda and Rwanda, I couldn’t tell whether anything was different at the border. Rwanda immigration’s new building is just having its last coat of paint. Those immigration officials must be relieved. If you cross the border late at night, they sit there in open-sided shipping containers, wearing thick jackets and suffering the cold of the damp river crossing.

moon over Nyabugogo bus park Kigali Diary of a Muzungu
The moon rises over Nyabugogo bus park in downtown Kigali

At Nyabugogo bus park in Kigali, I met my new friend and kindred spirit Denis Senechal, a French-Canadian who has relocated to Rwanda’s capital with his Rwandan wife. Read my story about the cobbler of Nyabugogo bus park that I wrote while looking out of the bus window.

Denis and I swapped stories about their former life in Kampala as he drove me to the cosy and colourful Umusambi Bed and Breakfast in Kibagabaga, my home for the next few days.

After a leisurely breakfast the next morning – “don’t rush me, I’ve only been sitting at the breakfast table for an hour and a half” – I got chatting to an Australian couple who invited me to tour Inema Arts Gallery and the Caplaki craft market. I’ve managed to finance my nomad lifestyle by not visiting craft shops (so it was rather weird to be seen as a tourist).

Caplaki Craft Market has excellent quality crafts – and divergent prices! Luckily we had the lovely Tony from Burundi to negotiate and whisper “don’t pay more than that” under his breath as we wandered from shop to shop.

We’d established that I could buy a snake (made from recycled bottle tops) for around 8,000 RWF (around $8). The shop next door asked for 15,000 RWF. At shop number three, the man with boozy breath said “I give you good price” and then asked me for 25,000 RWF for the same item! (He was the reminder to not buy the first thing you set your heart on).

Librairie Ikirezi bookshop rooftop cafe Kigali
On Friday afternoons, weekend celebrations start early at the Inzora Rooftop Café at Librairie Ikirezi, a few minutes walk from the Kigali Convention Centre

In the afternoon, Greg Bakunzi from Red Rocks in Musanze introduced me to the Inzora Rooftop Café at Ikirezi Bookshop / Librairie Ikirezi. This stylish – bookish – café is definitely my kind of place and one I plan to revisit.

A highlight of my time in Kigali was feeling free to walk wherever I wanted. Wide (motorbike-free!) pavements and street lights make walking a pleasure. From Ikirezi Bookshop, I walked to the famous ‘peace basket’ structure that is Kigali Convention Centre. It can be seen from all corners of the city, particularly at night when it is lit in a variety of mesmerising colours. Radisson Blu Hotel forms part of the Convention Centre complex. The presidential convoy of Range Rovers with black-tinted windows sped past me as I left the hotel.

Photo highlights from Kigali and Musanze – click on the photos to reveal their location!

Did you know that Google Maps continues to work even when you’re not on Wi-Fi? (You can see who failed physics, can’t you?) To start, I logged onto the free Wi-Fi at Radisson Blu and typed my destination into the app. Google Maps traced the route and the arrow kept moving, even as I left the WiFi zone behind me to walk 5.5 km uphill and down towards Umusambi Guesthouse. Rwandans are generally polite people, and some greeted me as I walked. Walking the streets of Kigali was a wonderful experience (although not everywhere is as developed as the route between the Convention Centre and Kibagabaga, as I found out the following week when I stayed in a residential back street). First the muzungu got lost, then the moto got lost and later Google Maps dumped me in a field of maize! (But tell me, what is a travel blog without the occasional detour?)

I felt so relaxed at Umusambi Guesthouse, that it was an effort to haul myself off the sofa! I chatted in French with the guesthouse’s Belgian owner and had an eye-opening conversation with an Italian lady who is vaccinating frontline staff against Ebola. “Prevention is better than cure” and we are thankful to see numerous interventions in place across the region.

I’ve travelled by bus from Kigali to Musanze many times and it couldn’t be easier. The Virunga Express from Nyabugogo takes a couple of hours from the city as it winds upwards through some of Rwanda’s one thousand hills.

From Musanze, I took a 7 km moto(rbike) ride to the Red Rocks campsite. Here at high altitude, evenings can be cold. I was glad to have a friendly dog lying on my feet as I warmed myself at the campfire while chatting to two very cool trail-blazing chicks: Harriet, one of Red Rocks’ co-founders and Angel, one of Rwanda’s few women tour drivers.

Red Rocks Campsite and Red Rocks Initiatives, Musanze Rwanda

Red Rocks is a popular campsite with super friendly staff who make a point of greeting you with a big smile. I enjoyed chatting French with the chef. Quels petits déjeuners énormes! (The breakfasts were huge!)

Red Rocks is home to authentic community tourism and I was honoured to spend some time with Kamana Theophile, an environmentalist with a passion for community projects. In the Red Rocks Museum, he demonstrated how banana beer is made in a giant wooden canoe-type structure. (I tried some on a previous trip – it’s delicious!) Profits from Red Rocks Campsite fund the indigenous tree nursery and gardening demonstration plots. Kamana discussed in French (ooo la la) how the local community are given seedlings, learn gardening techniques and good environmental practices – all for free. Through Red Rocks Initiatives, local communities – and the environment – directly benefit from tourism. Every aspect is environmentally sound: the ‘raised bed’ kitchen garden is made of volcanic rock and tree seedlings are carried home in pots made of banana fibre (plastic bags are illegal in Rwanda and the ban is strictly enforced).

Diary of a Muzungu. Red Rocks. traditional Rwandan hut
I have a bit of a ‘thing’ about huts so couldn’t wait to explore this one (and imagine what my life would be like if I lived there). It even has an outdoor ensuite bathroom! Red Rocks, Musanze
jerry cans. Red Rocks campsite Musanze near Kinigi
I also have a fetish for jerry cans! As you can see, Red Rocks in Musanze ticks all the boxes for me! The jerry cans are balanced on a ‘chukudu’ wooden bike. These are popular in the Congo for carrying heavy loads 

For a change of scene – we travel bloggers are rarely off-duty you know! – I was escorted to the new Classic Lodge where I did the full tour of the extensive buildings. The night before, over a thousand people had attended an event there. Had Musanze ever hosted such a large number of people?

Classic Lodge in Musanze is quite a set-up!

Here I was given a tour of the presidential suite (which President Kagame himself visited while it was under construction), a family cottage, suites, superior rooms and others. There are at least 40 different rooms and conference facilities.


Café Crema in Musanze is a cosy setup with charming and courteous staff. It’s the kind of place I love to hang out. The cappuccino was excellent, and I was happy to kill a few hours there (the first 30 minutes of WiFi are free).

Cafe Crema Musanze. Cappucino coffee VisitRwanda
Cafe Crema in Musanze serves excellent cappuccino coffee

Caffeine levels boosted, I dropped by the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund exhibition. It was humbling to spend a few moments reconnecting with my first reason for travelling to Rwanda, that being to support gorilla conservation.

Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund Karisoke exhibit. Musanze #VisitRwanda
It was quite moving to get a peek into Dian Fossey’s life in the mountains

Next stop Kigali.

The advantage of having fluid plans is you can take up new opportunities as they present themselves. The downside is you occasionally get stuck without a place to sleep! Thanks to Moses Nezehose who booked me in at the Tea House, another great establishment which is walking distance from Remera, a part of the city that I’ve come to know a little over my years of visiting Kigali.

On my first trips to the capital, I would stay at hostels run by various convents. (You can’t argue with $10 a night, even if the shower is cold). Centre Christus Hostel in Remera is set in green, bird (and monkey)-filled gardens away from the main road and I’ve been happy to stay there on several occasions.

On the second leg of my trip in Kigali, I was spoiled rotten. I spent three nights at the fabulous Pili Pili Boutique Hotel. My – it was heaven – so much so that I didn’t leave the compound for three days! My heart skipped a beat when the beautiful breakfast tray arrived in my room.

The cosmopolitan bar and brilliant music at Pili Pili were quite a thrill for this girl from the village! I loved the fresh grilled Sambaza fish from Lake Tanganyika and enjoyed my chats with Rudy, Pili Pili’s owner. I was fascinated to hear about his former life running hotels and bars in Bujambura. I visited Burundi in 2012 and really fell for the place. J’adore l’Afrique francophone!

Pili Pili Bistro and Boutique Hotel, Kigali

Pre-booked visitors ousted me from my little pad – goddamit – meaning it was time to download Air BnB and try my luck getting a cheap room in the city. Within minutes I was booked in to stay with Josiane and her four young sons. It was hard to understand where she lived so she came to meet me midway on a moto. She couldn’t have been nicer. She almost fell off her chair when I told her that Uganda is the Source of the Nile. She was quite adamant that it is in Rwanda! The debate continues…

After the comforts of a luxury set-up, it was nice to spend time with a Rwandan family. They treated me well and the meals were huge. (As for the cockroaches, well I’m glad I didn’t see any on my first night there; the longer I stayed there, the bigger the cockroaches I saw!)

I happened to be in Kigali on a Sunday when roads are closed to allow city residents space to run and exercise. Groups were exercising at Amahoro Stadium that morning as I walked to Java House in Remera where I fell in love with rhinos! Did you know Rwanda has just successfully relocated five black rhinos from Europe to Rwanda? The transformation of Akagera National Park is sensational, as I have witnessed on my last two visits there.

On my last day in Kigali, I headed to the Rwanda Development Board offices, also in Remera. Tourism, conservation and many other departments are managed by RDB. Boy what an impressive setup. Did you know that it’s free to register a business in Rwanda? Did you know that it generally takes only six hours to do that? The ‘one stop shop’ at RDB really is that. You can make bank payments, get advice from copyright specialists and immigration officials and have someone sit with you and guide you through the whole process of setting up a company, from start to finish. Let’s not do comparisons with Uganda…

Upstairs, I was delighted to see Moses, one of our hosts at the brilliant Kwita Izina gorilla naming ceremony. Kwita Izina is the annual celebration of conservation and tourism in Rwanda and now lasts a whole week.

Lunchtime took me back to the famous Chez Lando for my final brochettes (grilled meat on skewers) of the trip. I do enjoy Rwandan food. Read How to eat like a Rwandan – 10 snacks (I bet you’ve never tried).

The final leg of my trip took me back to Kampala. Life is easy when you can jump in an Uber as soon as you hit the city outskirts! Boutique B&Bs were a bit of a theme on this trip and I was thrilled when Albert Ntambiko invited me to stay at the new Mahali Guesthouse in Makindye. Albert is also the owner of Coffee at Last. Mahali is housed in the new Coffee at Last building, just a few steps away from the original establishment.

Coffee at Last is my favourite cafe in Kampala. I'm pictured here with Sam Risbond and Olive
Coffee at Last is my favourite cafe in Kampala. I’m pictured with Sam Risbond and Olive Nakiyemba one Saturday

Like I said, I seem to have this habit of leaving home for three days and returning after three weeks! Last year’s four day trip to Mombasa led to invitations to visit high-end hotels in Nyali, explore backpacker hostels and luxury beach resorts in Diani and attend Diani’s Five A Side International Beach Touch Rugby Tournament. (I arrived home three weeks later!)

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How to be a Mukiga woman – meet Agartha!

Pause for a quick stopover between Bwindi and Ishasha in Queen Elizabeth and taste rural Ugandan life with the indefatigable Agartha!

Agartha’s Taste of Uganda Tour is fun, educational and perfect for the inquisitive visitor who wonders how a rural Ugandan lady lives. Spend half an hour or more with Agartha and see how locally grown millet is transformed into porridge and bread.

Grind it, sip it, get involved!

I’m a big fan of community tourism and this one’s a winner -an award-winner in fact. As well as being an authentic cultural experience, Agartha boasts arguably the funkiest toilet between Bwindi and Queen Elizabeth National Park! It’s a long drive between the two parks and a quick stopover at Agartha’s is a perfect place for stretching the legs and drinking some refreshing bushera millet porridge. Agartha’s hut is a cool place to sit and sample local life.

A typical day on Agartha’s Taste of Uganda Tour

Visitors are welcomed to Agartha’s homestead where you will be invited to sit in her beautiful grass-thatched hut. Here she takes great pride in sharing how the women of her tribe, the Bakiga, prepare their favourite food.  Hear how the ingredients are grown and harvested and witness how to shift, grind, cook –  and most importantly – keep the food warm for their husbands and children.

The approach is always dusty. It’s a typical village setting – of bicycles, jerry cans, young children and the occasional boda boda. There are few cars here.

Agartha demonstrates how local women treat dry millet, one of the community’s staple foods. She spreads the freshly picked millet in a large flat basket in front of us and works the seeds with her feet, separating them from the stalk. (Agartha has some good dance moves!)

The next part of the process is called winnowing and involves using a wide woven basket to gently throw the grains into the air to let the dry husks blow away. Agartha may invite you to have a go! Next, we are invited to pound the millet with a dry stone to dehusk it. Not as easy as it looks!

The hard work of grinding out of the way, Agartha mixes the millet flour with hot water to make a porridge. (Most Ugandans will add lots of sugar to the mixture as well). Now for the best part: we sip porridge from traditional gourds and munch on freshly roasted soybeans and groundnuts.

Agartha explains that the Bakiga wife must keep the porridge warm for when the husband gets home from the bar(!) Millet porridge is also the first meal a woman receives after giving birth. Millet is high in iron, which helps with the lactation process.

Chatting with Agartha and sampling millet porridge gives you an interesting insight into the everyday life of a Bakiga woman. Three children walk past the open door as we chat. The young girl carries a woven shopping basket. The boy carries a hoe. He is only nine or ten years old. The youngest boy, who can be no more than five, tries to balance a machete on his head. Ducks waddle past the front door.

Agartha and her family live on the edge of Queen Elizabeth National Park, near the Ishasha Sector.  The talented Agartha is a craftswoman, tailor and an organic subsistence farmer. She is also the Chairperson of the local community group.

How long does Agartha’s Taste of Uganda Tour take?

You can take part in Agartha’s Taste of Uganda tour any time of the day (strictly by prior arrangement). The tour lasts 30 to 45 minutes and is adjusted according to the time you have available. (Do tell Agartha how long you would like the tour to take when you arrive).

Agartha’s Taste of Uganda Tour is on the main road between UWA Ishasha park gate and Kihihi.

Can I just rock up at Agartha’s when I’m driving through Ishasha?

No please don’t. Agartha is a working farmer so you need to book at least two days in advance (even if you just want to make use of the toilet!)  Reservations can be made by phone or email or via your tour operator.

Go to Agartha’s Taste of Uganda Tour in my Travel Directory for booking information and answers to these questions: How much does the tour cost? Where does the money for the tour go? What do other visitors say about Agartha’s Tour? How can I book? How do I get to Agartha’s?

Have you visited Agartha’s? Tell me what your experience was like. I think it’s a brilliant project!

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“I was thinking of getting myself a Muzungu,” he said

The good Samaritan? (Or was he out shopping for a white one?)

They must have watered down my petrol or something. I know the car needs a service but it’s almost impossible to get the car going. I rest my full body weight on the accelerator but nothing happens, nothing happens and suddenly we lurch forward, almost into the back of someone parked in front of me.

The engine is cold and I have to limp out of the car park straight into Kampala’s rush-hour traffic. Drivers impatiently push past me. I’m getting a bit stressed as I pull out onto the roundabout, looking at the rev counter and BANG!

The front right corner of the car is leaning down at an angle and the front wheel is in a hole in the road. The girl driving the car next door to me smiles and says “sorry!”

How the hell am I going to get out of this with no power?

Quick as you like, a Ugandan guy in an office shirt comes over to me. “We need stones in that hole to get you out of it.” He leans into the flowerbed, picks up a couple of rocks. How convenient!

Seconds later, three rough-looking street guys run over to me from different directions. I hear the word ssente (money).

rush hour boda boda Jinja Road Kampala. Diary of a Muzungu

rush hour boda boda Jinja Road Kampala. Diary of a Muzungu

They grab hold of the corner of the car and start rocking it as I put the car in low gear and try to go forward. (Hang on, I better not run the good Samaritans over). I shift into reverse and after the second push, we are out.

Expectant faces lean into the car.

“I’m going to Nakawa, can you drop me there?” Asks the first guy.

Sure, if I’m going to thank anyone, it’s the guy who was first on the scene.

I’m causing a jam and the last thing I want to do is get my purse out in the middle of the traffic jam. I’m totally skint anyway. If I can thank this guy by giving him a lift home, that’s good enough for me.

We drive off with the three street guys shouting after us.

“I thought I’d better let them think I know you so that they leave you alone. These guys can disturb you.” He says. I don’t usually let strange men in my car but, in broad daylight, it seems like a sensible enough option.

As we drive, in the opposite direction to my home, he tells me about himself and his aspirations. Needless to say, there are a couple of predictable topics.

“I’ve just come from the village. There’s a man I know who has lots of children and can’t pay school fees. He was telling me that he’s heard of some organisations that pay school fees and was asking if I could find out. Do you know of any?”

“No, I don’t,” I say, “but if he has so many children, tell your friend to use a condom next time.”

“Yes, he does but sometimes that stuff gets through and sometimes a condom breaks.”

“What, 20 times? He must be very unlucky!” I say.

He laughs. I only know of organizations that help children with HIV and AIDS. Anyway, I don’t feel like getting involved today. “I was thinking of getting myself a Muzungu,” he says.“I think one day I might go to the UK. Do you think I can find a girl there?”

“I’m sure you can find any type of girl, you just have to look when you get there. They’re very different from Ugandan girls though. You better be prepared to do half the cooking, half the cleaning, and half the childcare if you have a British girlfriend.” The young man goes silent. I don’t have the heart to tell him that he probably wouldn’t get into the UK anyway these days.

“Actually when I saw your car stuck, I saw my opportunity.”

It’s funny how even the guy who saves me from the ones who are trying to take advantage of me is also trying to take advantage. I don’t mind, he’s helped me and seems like a sweet guy but the favours and requests do feel a bit relentless at times. At least he hasn’t asked for my phone number.

“… But how do we keep in touch?” He asks as I drop him at his destination.

If you enjoyed this story, I know you’ll love Downtown Dreadlocks, the muzungu’s blind date.

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A rainy season journey: ‘nsenene’ grasshopper road trip to Fort Portal

A rainy season journey: nsenene grasshopper road trip to Fort Portal

Our dawn departure from Kampala is marked by streaks of pink and orange daybreak filtering over Port Bell and Lake Victoria. Houselights twinkle in the darkness. Kampala is so pretty at this time of day.

We are driving to Fort Portal. Along Hoima Road, a traffic policeman dressed in white leaps out into the road to intercept a passing saloon car that has large white canvas sacks billowing out of every window.

An excited Julia shouts “nsenene!”

Grasshoppers are back on the menu!

nsenene grasshopper road trip
A handful of cooked ‘nsenene’ grasshoppers Entebbe. Did I enjoy them? (Scroll down…)

It’s rainy season and there is a glut of nsenene (grasshoppers). The sacks contain live insects that are hung out of the window of the moving vehicle to keep them cool as they are transported to Kampala markets. Ugandans are going crazy for the delicacy, with queues of people lining up downtown to buy them.

Vehicle after vehicle drives towards us laden with white canvas sacks.

It’s 7 o’clock on a November morning.

Julia recounts the story of the day she bought a quarter sack of nsenene on a previous road trip between Fort Portal and Kampala. The kids were screaming with excitement at the thought of feasting on them. Grasshoppers do not have a long shelf life. They have to be ‘cleaned’ (their wings and legs removed) before they can be washed and cooked. Everyone arrived home from the long journey exhausted, she said, but then had to spend several hours plucking off wings and legs! “I think everyone was too sick to eat them after that!”

I remember opening the fridge the next day to find it full of grasshoppers (in addition to the chicken feet and cow hooves reserved for the dog!)

boy holding nsenene grasshoppers grasshopper road trip
As sweet as the wording on his T-shirt: a young boy delicately holds a bunch of live nsenene grasshoppers Mubende. PHOTO Malcolm Wilson

On our journey, Malcolm likes reminding us that Julia was a full-on vegan when they first knew each other many years ago on the Mweya Peninsula in Queen Elizabeth National Park. Back then a grasshopper would not have passed her lips.

At a small trading centre we see some lovely looking chapatis. “Let’s stop for a rolex,” Malcolm says. Everyone loves a rolex. The popular Ugandan street food (of an omelette wrapped in a chapatti) has gone global this year (thanks to an article called ‘The African dishes you should be eating’ on CNN.com)

Our car pulls up next to an open-air butchery. Next to the car, the butcher hacks at a lump of meat with a machete. His face is covered with tiny flecks of meat. Big slabs of beef hang on hooks, intestines lie glistening on a table.

“I’m just going to get some cow hooves for the dogs,” Julia informs me. (Barf. Did you need to tell me? I beg).

As she walks towards the butcher, she stumbles over the head of a recently butchered cow. It sits upside down on the muddy ground, bright red blood draining onto the dark floor. A man straps the cow’s head to the back of his bicycle and wheels it away.

Malcolm gets back into the car frustrated. “That guy has a chapati, the other guy has eggs, but no-one can make me a rolex!” He is on a mission. He decides to return to the stall and get the vendors organised.

Meanwhile, I should not be surprised to see Julia instruct a man to tie a bag of grasshoppers onto the front of our vehicle!

nsenene Mubende grasshopper road trip
In Mubende, a small sack of live nsenene is fixed to the front of our car

A woman rushes over with a basket of roasted gonja (bananas) on her head. A young man walks up to our parked car and shows me a gold coin. He asks me how much I want to buy it for. He’s trying to sell the muzungu a 20 cent Euro coin. (I wonder if he’s been asking every passing muzungu to buy it).

A happy Malcolm gets back into the car with three monster-sized rolex. The chapatis are thick and well-cooked. They are delicious! We are ten minutes south of Mityana.

“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve!” Malcolm counts twelve Great Blue Turacos. “They must have just come out of roost,” he says (meaning the birds have just left their overnight perch).

Great Blue Turaco, Sunbird Hill, Kibale Forest. Charlotte Beauvoisin
Great Blue Turaco, Sunbird Hill, Kibale Forest. PHOTO Charlotte Beauvoisin

As we continue our journey towards Fort Portal, more cars come towards us, overloaded with grasshoppers.

“I could carry three sofa sets on the roof of my car today and none of the traffic police would notice!” Exclaims Julia. This morning, the traffic police are only interested in watching the vehicles heading to Kampala.

En route we talk about birds, we talk about conservation, we talk about the many poacher snares and traps that have been recovered by Uganda Conservation Foundation and Uganda Wildlife Authority.

Last time I drove this road I had to slam on the brakes to avoid crashing into a cow that walked straight into the road without looking (it seems to be a Ugandan trait!)

We pass lines of bright shiny corrugated iron sheets, set in horizontal lines to catch grasshoppers. The insects are attracted by a bright light bulb that reflects onto the metal. The insects crash into the metal sheets and land in the buckets at the bottom.

muzungu's first taste grasshoppers (nsenene) grasshopper road trip
The muzungu’s first taste of grasshoppers (nsenene) – I quite like them now I have stopped obsessing over wings and legs!

At Mubende, we pull over for Julia to buy some fried grasshoppers and mbuzi roasted ‘goat on a stick’.

“That’s baboon meat!” Shouts Malcolm.

“It’s not baboon!” Laughs the meat-seller.

A man selling water and sodas bangs on the window and tells me to put the window down. I bang back at him angrily. He gets the point and we smile at each other through the glass.

I spot three Hooded Vultures at the top of a tree “the ones with pink necks” I say. The birds’ necks are feather-free to stop them getting covered in blood and core as they eat corpses. “Vultures are known as coprophages,” Malcolm corrects me “because they eat turds!”

Driving through Kiko tea estate, outside Fort Portal, thousands of grasshoppers float above the bright green tea bushes like a layer of green mist. The emergence of grasshoppers floats above the tea and up into the air.

A troupe of eight black and white Colobus Monkeys sit at the top of a tree in a clearing next to the tea plantation. I’m surprised to see them in such an open area. “They do very well in disturbed forest,” Julia – the primatologist – tells us.

We are travelling to Kanyanchu where Julia’s land touches Kibale Forest. For many years she lived in a treehouse in the middle of the forest while she followed, studied and habituated the chimpanzees that are now so popular with tourists.

Malcolm grabs his binoculars to take a closer look at large flocks of Abdim Storks that are circling high in the air, to our left and to our right. “Must be thousands of them,” he says.

According to Fanshawe and Stevenson’s The Birds of East Africa (the best book for identifying Uganda’s birds), Abdim Storks are “nomadic and gregarious.” They are seen in Uganda between October and November as they follow “the rains and burns” on their flight from northern Africa. They are known as “opportunistic” feeders and are undoubtedly making the most of the grasshopper season.

Abdim’s Stork in flight, Tanzania. PHOTO Jonathan Rossouw
Abdim’s Stork in flight, Tanzania. PHOTO Jonathan Rossouw

We talk about migration and Malcolm explains how birds use thermals to cover vast distances. “You will notice that vultures are never in the air at the start or the end of the day. They need the hot air rising off the land to allow them to climb high. Vultures can go up 1 or 2 km and then slowly guide for 400 miles. Doing this, they expend very little energy.”

He tells us about a Ruppell’s Griffon Vulture that was seen 12 km above the surface of the earth by a commercial pilot. Vultures have incredible eyesight and watch each other from up on high. I like hanging out with Malcolm Wilson. He is an expert ornithologist and ringer or ‘bander,’ at the very top of his game, and revered by many birders in Uganda. Not only can Malcolm identify a bird, he has a mine of fascinating facts to explain what we’re looking at. “A vulture only drops for one reason: a kill. When one drops out of the sky, the others follow.” Read about his ringing expeditions and bird watching tours across Africa on his web site.

Tooro Botanical Gardens Fort Portal
It’s fun buying plants at Tooro Botanical Gardens in Fort Portal

At Tooro Botanical Gardens, a young man called John guides us through the various plants, telling us both the English names and the Latin names. With John’s help, Malcolm and Julia pick out a selection of tree seedlings. Julia and I share a moment of realisation. Julia has been wanting to invite Malcolm to advise her on which plants and trees will help develop her land for birding tourism. Finally we are here. This weekend has been many years in the planning. I am so excited to be part of it.

There is a small fishpond in Tooro Botanical Gardens. It hasn’t been stocked with fish yet but there’s already a heron inspecting it. Julia correctly identifies it as a Black-headed Heron. The girl’s birding knowledge is coming on!

new road through Kibale Forest. walking cows
Walking cows along the new road through Kibale Forest

We drive on the new road through Kibale. The Chinese (of course) construction company have been working on it for a couple of years. It’s a good road in many respects but too wide. We bemoan how big and fast the road is. It passes directly through Kibale National Park, described as having “the highest concentration and density of primates in Africa.” We are worried how many of the forest’s animals will be killed by speeding motorists. There are a few road humps but nowhere near enough. We hope and pray that the speed humps will proliferate.

Our car passes through a troop of baboons. One stands on its two back legs to peer into the car looking for food.

I am appalled to see that one of them has had its whole snout (large pointed nose and lips) are missing. Its normally 3D face is flat. His front teeth are permanently visible but beyond this appalling wound, the animal looks healthy enough. Will he survive?

Another baboon, in the bush above the verge, picks at something that it holds in its right paw. It appears to be an animal skin. The baboon pulls the last bits of flesh off some skin “it’s most likely a vervet monkey,” Malcolm says.

tree cutting Sunbird Hill, Kibale with Malcolm Wilson
Can you spot them? Innocent gets a lesson in tree cutting from Malcolm Wilson at Sunbird Hill, Kibale

At our final destination, Sunbird Hill, Malcolm teaches us all about tree felling and the best plants to attract more birds to the forest edge. It’s an enlightening few days.

If you enjoy my insect stories, read Grasshoppers – nsenene: eat them or smoke them? Discuss.

NEXT UP: Bayimba! “An unparalleled feast of music, dance, theatre, film & visual arts”

Bayimba International Festival of the Arts 10th Anniversary: exploring Uganda’s Art Wealth

Diary of a Muzungu is delighted to be one of the media sponsors of the 2017 Bayimba International Festival of the Arts! Scroll down this page to read the week-end’s PACKED programme of events and keep checking Bayimba’s Facebook page and Twitter for more news and updates. Follow the hashtags #Bayimba2017 and 

Bayimba International Festival of the Arts. Bwette Photography
Live music is a major – but not only – part of Bayimba International Festival of the Arts. Bwette Photography

The 22-24 September 2017 will be a ten-year celebration of Uganda’s multidisciplinary Bayimba International Festival of the Arts. Every third week of September, Kampala comes alive as a vibrant and eventful city when an unparalleled feast of music, dance, theatre, film and visual arts from renowned and upcoming artists are brought to the Uganda National Cultural Centre / Uganda National Theatre.

Celebrating ten years of Bayimba International Festival of the Arts

Looking at today’s arts entertainment scope, Kampala alone boasts of a variety of festivals, it’s a different scenario looking back 9 years later. The birth of Bayimba Festival changed event organizing in Uganda, during an era with few platforms to showcase artistic works. The festival’s 1st edition echoed possibilities and creative empowerment that opened every artist’s way of thinking about creating and not job seeking. At the same time as the country’s live music scene was kicking in, the platform offered live performance workshops to artists, mentored them to apply for other festivals across the globe. Bayimba’s international status caters for diverse audiences and its unique programming consists of exhibitions, contemporary fashion, dance and multiple arts. Slowly, artists adopted a system of organizing their own events to try similar ideas, to grow their own networks and develop business relations in order to sustain themselves.

In the present day, Bayimba continues to serve as an important benchmark for the consumption of the country’s finest arts through its signature initiative “The Bayimba International Festival of the Arts,” an annual three day arts fete that happens every September.

Bayimba International Festival of the Arts Kampala. James Wasswa
Bayimba International Festival of the Arts Kampala. James Wasswa

Fast forward to 2017 and this year marks the festival’s 10th anniversary. A glance of what’s on offer has an array of diverse arts, ranging from performance arts set to thrill crowds on the two stages, where the list of performers include: Uganda’s self-styled Ghetto President “Bobi Wine who makes a second appearance since 2015. Mariam Ndagire will open day one’s recitals for female dancehall outfit Cindy to close. Other performers are: self-claimed King of Mwooyo Maurice Kirya, Percussion Discussion Africa, 90’s gospel group Limit X, Lily Kadima and Coopy bly. Dr. Jose Chameleone is set to headline day two.

Some of the regional and international acts set to join this edition’s main stage are: Kenya’s Nyaititi maestro Makadem, Tanzania’s Jaggwa Music, South Africa’s Dr Bone (returning for a second do after an interrupted piece last year), in addition to South African afro soul Diva Berita, Ugandan-born Danish belle Feridah Rose, a recent winner of The Uganda Music Awards, Best Dispora Act and finally Ethiopia’s former Coke Studio representative Betty G.

makadem Bayimba International Festival of the Arts 2017
Makadem will be performing at the Bayimba International Festival of the Arts 2017 this September in Kampala

The Upper Garden arena of the National Theatre will host Stage 2. The line-up of acts here consist of genres whose collection varies from Hip hop, Reggae, Ragga, Mataali, musical conversations and DJ collaborations. Some of the acts include Zimbabwe’s Hope Masike, here to fuse her soulful ballads with Ugandan percussionist Haka Mukiga. The legendary hip hop duo and brothers Sylvester and Abramz, will incorporate female DJ outfits under the flagship of Femme Electronic, Rwanda’s Components RW, Netherland’s Bilvar Mvulu, Umoja Boys and Kenya’s Mwanase Ahmed together with Bayimba-run initiative Youth and Hip hop workshop beneficiaries Jo’Ge Flame, Kristien Carol & Shirley May and a whole lot more.

Besides the stage presentations, Ekyalo Bayimba will now return as Ekyalo Kasaayi, an artist’s dialogue space whose curation will be led by Liz Kaggwa and Drum Circle (popularly known for their Ngoma Jam sessions).

The auditorium activity slots encompass genres like Kadongo Kamu in the lead of heavy weights Abdu Mulasi, Chance Nalubega, Fred Sebatta and dramatical recitals by Omugave Ndugwa’s Balck Pearl and a lone man comedy show Mukalazi Edwin titled “HipHop Comedy,” and poetry to be presented by Kitara Nation poets, whose anthology recitals will cast college students.

Bayimba International Festival of the Arts. National Theatre, Kampala. Geoff Walker
Bayimba International Festival of the Arts takes place at the National Theatre, Kampala. Geoff Walker

Fashion is a signature activity of the festival and three of Uganda’s celebrated personalities will produce this aspect: Ras Kasozi of SEED FASHION a Skilled Expressive Entrepreneurial Designers show project designed by US Mission Kampala in collaboration with Kas Wear under the mentorship of Ras Kasozi; Gloria Wavamunho, curator of the Kampala Fashion Week and Buyi pheel of Kkoolo designs an entrepreneurial initiative of traditional art.

Over the past editions of Bayimba, Silent disco has proved to be one of the highlight activities, and will again appear on this edition’s menu, in the usual space – the Dance floor. In 2017, there will be film screenings, presented in partnership with the Swedish Embassy. Bikes and Cars is a documentary by Frederik Gertten. The Embassy will also feature a photography exhibition set against the climate change backdrop titled “Facing the Climate” and another exhibition by Switzerland’s reknown photographer Geoff Walker titled “Nodding Disease,” an awareness call about the epidemic and how it’s affecting northern Uganda.

Cindy Sanyu. Bayimba International Festival of the Arts 2017
Cindy Sanyu will be performing at the Bayimba International Festival of the Arts 2017

To further celebrate the festival’s multidisciplinary status, a couple of visual artists have been commissioned to present and curate festival spaces. Stacey Gillian, whose sculptural work focuses on misconceptions of gender equality in Uganda, will unveil a 3D art installation. Xenson Znja a multidisciplinary artist and fashion designer will present the main stage backdrop for the second time since 2009, while Fitsjerald Art Studio will present the stage two backdrops.

The festival’s ever-growing participation and appreciation by the general public ranks it among Africa’s top festivals. Bayimba is not only a celebration of music but also a celebration of Ugandan contemporary life, placing Kampala as one of the top East African tourism hubs.

The festival still struggles to rely on local sponsors, but luckily the emergence of many emerging festivals celebrates Bayimba’s vision. Bayimba, has proved to stand the test of time by attracting more and more sponsors over the last five years, contrary to what it was back in 2008 during its inception.

The Bayimba International Festival of the Arts is undoubtedly Uganda’s number one multidisciplinary festival!

Bayimba Festival 2017 poster. Buy tickets at PAYWAY
Buy your Bayimba Festival 2017 tickets at PAYWAY – just 10k UGX per day!

Here is the programme for the 2017 Bayimba International Festival of the Arts September 22nd – 24th! FEEL FREE TO SHARE IT 🙂

Friday 22nd // Stage One

19:00 Mariam Ndagire & Band (UG)

20:00 Berita (SA)

21:00 Dr. Bone (SA)

22:00 Jagwa Music (TZ)

23:00 Cindy Sanyu (UG)

Saturday 23rd // Stage One

19:00 Percussion Discussion (UG)

20:00 Lily Kadima (UG)

21:00 Feridah Rose (UG/DE)

22:00 Maurice Kirya (UG)

23:00 Jose Chameleon (UG)

Sunday 24th // Stage One

19:00 Coopy Bly (UG)

20:00 Limit X (UG)

21:00 Betty G (ETH)

22:00 Makadem (KE)

23:00 Bobi Wine (UG)

Friday 22nd // Stage Two

18:30 Mutundwe Matali Group (UG)

20:00 Jacinta (UG)

21:00 Haka Mukiga and Hope Masike (UG/ZIM)

22:00 Umoja Boys (NL) & Mwanase Ahmed (KE)

Sylvester Abramz Bayimba International Festival of the Arts 2017
Sylvester & Abramz will be performing at Bayimba International Festival of the Arts 2017

Saturday 23rd // Stage Two

15:00 Tujaali Performers (UG)

17:00 – 19:00 The Project INYE (GER/COLUMBIA/SA)

19:00 Apio Moro (UG)

20:00 – 21:00 Sylvester & Abramz (UG)

21:00 Components RW (RW)

Sunday 24th // Stage Two

14:00 – 16:00 Femme Electronic

18:00 Famous Friends (UG)

19:00 – 20:00 Jo’Ge Flame, Kristien Carol & Shirley May (Youth & Hip Hop) (UG)

21:00 – 22:00 Boliver Mvulu & Band (NLD/DRC)

Friday 22nd // Auditorium

12:00 – 14:30 BIKES VS CARS (Documentary by Frederik Gertten)

15:00 – 16:30 Kitara Nation School’s Project – Poetry (UG)

19:00 – 20:00 The Veiled Truth (UG/RW)

20:30 – 21:30 Abdu Mulasi (UG)

Saturday 23rd // Auditorium

12:00 – 13:00 “Facing the Climate” – Effects of climate change in Uganda

14:00 – 15:00 Kitara Nation – Poetry (UG)

15:00 – 16:00 Musical Stand Up Comedy – Edwin Mukalazi (UG)

18:00 – 19:00 Dance Performance (UG)

20:00 – 21:00 David Walters (FR)

21:30 – 22:30 Chance Nalubega (UG)

Sunday 24th // Auditorium

12:00 – 14:00 Punishment Island – Film

16:00 – 17:00 Black Pearl (UG)

19:00 – 20:00 Street Dance Force & ABC Fleva (UG)

20:30 – 22:00 Fred Ssebatta (UG)

Friday 22nd // Dance Floor

17:00 – 18:00 KKOOLO Fashion (UG)

Saturday 23rd // Dance Floor

17:00 – 18:00 Gloria Wavamunno (UG)

20:00 – 23:00 – Silent Disco/Headphone Disco

Sunday 24th // Dance Floor

17:00 – 18:00 Ras Kasozi & SEED Uganda (UG)

20:00 – 23:00 – Silent Disco/Headphone Disco

Saturday 23rd // Green Room

14:00 – 16:00 Dance Workshop (UG)

Drinking local brew. Bayimba International Festival of the Arts. Samuel Okocha
Drinking local brew at Bayimba International Festival of the Arts. Samuel Okocha

Open Space

Art Installation – Matthieu Tercieux (FR) & Eduardo Souillot (FR)

Photography Exhibition

Facing the Climate – Foyer

Nodding Disease –Theatre Noticeboard

Upper Garden

Ekyaalo Kasaayi & Drum circle Uganda

3D Bayimba Art Installation – Stacey Gillian (UG)

Stage One Backdrop – Xenson (UG)

Stage Two Backdrop – Fitsjerald Art Studio (UG)

All day Art and Craft sales/exhibitions.

Diary of a Muzungu one of the sponsors of Bayimba Festival 2017
Diary of a Muzungu is delighted to be one of the sponsors of this year’s Bayimba Festival!

Remember to keep checking Bayimba’s Facebook page and Twitter for more news and updates. Follow the hashtags #Bayimba2017 and 

Downtown dreadlocks. The muzungu’s blind date

What did I say to Julia?

After one dating disaster too many I joked that “if another guy with dreadlocks wants to date me, the first thing he has to do is shave his head.”

Moving on, a few months go by and the girls were having a giggle… Elisabeth wanted to set me up on a blind date with a friend of hers.

“Teddy works in a salon,” she told me. “You can just drop by one day, and check him out first. He won’t know. He’s fed up going out with Ugandan girls who keep messing him around. He said he fancies going out with a Muzungu.”

We checked him out, surreptitiously. My friend gave him my phone number. He called me.

“I just wondered what you’re doing tomorrow? I’ll be in Kampala,” he said.

“Call me when you get to the taxi park. I’ll be at the saloon by the bus station,” he added.

downtown Kampala street

Lunchtime on a downtown Kampala street and the streets are fairly quiet

As I got off the boda boda downtown the next day, half a dozen men from different upcountry bus companies ran towards me and demanded to know where I was going: Lira, Gulu, Masaka, Soroti, where….?

“I’m going to the salooooon,” I answered. (A salon in English, in Uglish it’s a saloon.]

I’m an independent kind of girl so I didn’t call Teddy straightaway; I just thought I’d see whether I could find him first.

A couple of people helpfully offered to guide me to a saloon of their recommendation. He wasn’t in the first one.

Would I recognise him?

In the second salon, I saw a man having his head shaved. Were the dreadlocks coming off? Had he read my mind? Had he read ‘that blog’? Had Julia told him he would have to shave his head? The man’s head was bent forward, so I couldn’t see his face. All I could see were the last two inches of hair being removed by the razor.

The man lifted up his head. It wasn’t Teddy.

Two saloons later and I still hadn’t found him.

In the bustling street, a young man in an orange T-shirt tapped me on the shoulder. I was going to ignore him but he said my name out loud. He introduced himself as Teddy’s brother.

I followed him through the crowded streets into a crammed shopping arcade where we climbed up three flights of stairs. (How would I ever have found this saloon on my own?) And there was Teddy, sitting on the balcony, grinning at me. “I’ve been watching you from up here,” he said.

Guess what? He was having his dreadlocks redone!

Uganda dating. first date. Dreadlocks

A very Ugandan first date. At the hair salon

And you seriously call this a date?

We had some general chitchat and he offered me a soda. We sat and chatted while his brother worked on his hair.

On the salon veranda, overlooking the buses, we ordered lunch: beans, rice, cassava and matooke. He laughed when I said in Luganda “Silya enyama” (I don’t eat meat).

African buffet lunch Gardens Restaurant Fort Portal

A cooked Ugandan lunch comes in one size only: BIG!

The lady from the restaurant looked very impressed that the Muzungu was eating the big plate of “black African food” she’d brought into the saloon for us.

Teddy’s brother encouraged me to clear my plate. “No leftovers or they’ll charge us more,” he quipped.

“I love the UK so much! I love the Queen!” Said Teddy.

Was this supposed to impress me? “Why do you love the Queen?” Quizzed the Muzungu.

“I am a prince.” [Perplexed look on the Muzungu’s face….]

“I know a Prince,” I jumped in, looking for the logic. Was he trying to tell me he’s a monarchist? (I never did get to the bottom of that one).

He next explained that his dad and his sister live in the UK. He showed me a message from his dad saying that he should get a green card for the US. Why he showed me this, I don’t know. [And where did he think I was really from?]

Ugandan hair salon sign

“Trust me with u’r stayle” hair salon, near Mubende, Uganda

We talked a bit about music. “What music do you like? Elton John?” He enquired.

Oh pleeeease. Why do so many Ugandans live in this 1980s musical timewarp? It drives me nuts. (Yes Elton John is an amazing singer/ songwriter but forgive me Elton, your heyday was 30 years ago).

After lunch, Teddy explained that he had left his money at home – a pretty impressive move for a first date.

He said he wanted to buy us lunch, but “could I lend him 5,000 shillings?” [Approx $1.50 / £1.00]

I decided not to make a scene. Lending him money on our first date wasn’t what I had in mind. However, since it would cost me at least this much to eat lunch anywhere else in town, I handed over the 5,000 shillings. He said he would pay me back that afternoon. (Afterwards I asked myself: why didn’t he just ask his brother to pay for lunch?)

Time went by. We ran out of conversation. I looked up at the TV.

His brother noticed I was getting bored and asked me if I’d like to read a magazine, and produced some old copies of African Woman: dated 2006.

What am I doing here? I asked myself…

The average Ugandan seems to spend a lot of their life just sitting around. I can’t do it. This was a work day and I’d come into town – just to meet him. I asked Teddy what he was planning to do for the rest of the day. He said he would be another couple of hours and then he was going to look for 10,000 shillings from one place and 20,000 from another. I told him I had some work to do.

He said he would call me to see about meeting up later. (Could I be bothered… ?)

“My sister!”

To choruses of “my sister” and “jajja,” I worked my way down the street towards Owino market.

The strap of my sandal broke. “Those sandals must be Chinese!” Said a man sitting outside a shop. As I hobbled along, people looked down at the muzungu’s broken sandal, smiled and said “bambi” and “sorry” as the Muzungu limped on by.

A boda driver called out at me “I give you a lift!” A cloud of dust lifted in the air as he SMACKED the seat of his motorbike, in anticipation of the muzungu’s kabina.

Across the road, a man with a handful of T-shirts beckoned me.

“Here is the tailor,” he said.

cobbler shoes Owino market Kampala

The shy tailor – cobbler – was delighted for me to take his photo. Fixing my sandals outside Owino market, Kampala

Just outside the entrance to Owino, next to the open sewer, an old man sat hunched under a big umbrella fixing shoes in the dust. He gave me a wooden stool to sit on, a perfect vantage point for watching men on the opposite bank of the sewer playing dominoes and urinating against the wall.

Within minutes, my sandal was expertly fixed, for just 2,000 Uganda shillings (not the 20,000 shillings some chancer tried to rob me of another time!)

I went into town looking for love. Instead, I got a shy smile from the old cobbler.

Actually, I couldn’t have been happier.

cobbler shoes Owino market Kampala

Not the best view in Kampala but certainly the best shoe repair prices!

STOP PRESS: I hear that Teddy has lost the dreads. I did agree to see him a second time – but this time he bounced, his phone went off and I didn’t get a call or explanation for a whole week. Some people are so unserious!

“Love letter to Motherland Uganda” and the National Anthem debate

Uganda’s National Anthem – A plea to Ugandans from Meronie Agaba

Uganda Conservation Foundation's Map of Uganda

Uganda Conservation Foundation’s Map of Uganda. Anti-poaching and human wildlife conflict projects with the Uganda Wildlife Authority in Queen Elizabeth and Murchison Falls National Parks

 

In recent weeks, Uganda has been alive with talk about the perceived need to ‘jazz-up’ the country’s National Anthem. “Oh Uganda, Land of Beauty” was adopted in 1962 with words and music composed by George Wilberforce Kakoma.

Coincidentally, Meronie Agaba recently sent me her “Love letter to Motherland Uganda” – her interpretation of the National Anthem’s meaning and a plea to Ugandans to reconnect with their common heritage.

Background to Uganda’s National Anthem debate

Tourism Minister Maria Mutagamba announced that Ugandan playwright Alex Mukulu was in charge of a project worth about 180 m Uganda shillings ($75,000). The Minister explained that the objective was not to change the anthem but to portray its message in drama as a tool for promoting Uganda and to help an increasingly-indifferent Ugandan public identify with their mother country.

This project has polarised debate, with many Ugandans totally against any messing around with what they consider a sacred song. According to Uganda’s Observer newspaper “This whole obsession with aesthetics seems to speak to the hankerings of more impressionable youth that prize form over substance. Uganda’s national anthem is not terribly wanting, and the country has more pressing needs on which it could spend Shs 180 m.”

 

Meronie Agaba: “This tribute is my love letter to motherland Uganda.”

Cape Buffalo Murchison Falls Uganda

Pair of Cape Buffalo in Murchison Falls National Park, Uganda. Spot the Oxpeckers on their backs, cleaning the animals of ticks!

Oh Uganda my motherland

May God uphold thee

As we lay our future into thy hands

Through prayer and repentance, staying on our knees,

With our hands lifted up to the king of kings, God almighty

Committing ourselves, our nation, to you

Uganda Kob

A handsome Uganda Kob poses for the camera in Murchison Falls National Park

That you oh God shall give us a Vision

To acknowledge that blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord.

For Unity, Freedom, and Liberty we stand

Together as one, committed to serve our Motherland

Embracing diversity of faith, tribe, and culture

Batwa dancers at Mount Gahinga Lodge, Mgahinga, Uganda

Batwa dancers at Mount Gahinga Lodge, Mgahinga, Uganda

 

United by one code: Our Motherland

On whose words to describe that breasts we feed and shall ever be nourished

Children, men and women of Uganda arise.

Together we stand against all forces of divisionism,

Violence, corruption, complacence and evil influence,

Running toward the goal of freedom, unity and strength

Announcing:

United we stand, divided we fall!

 

Children and villagers along Gayaza Road en route to Jinja

Children and villagers along Gayaza Road en route to Jinja

Oh Uganda the land of freedom,

Your children rich and poor, short and tall, small and big

Reaching out to the heights with open hearts, eager minds,

Expending their God-given potential, creativity and innovation,

With enthusiasm, energy and zeal,

Partaking of Uganda’s portion in the land of prosperity

 

The Uganda Kob and the Grey Crested Crane adorn Uganda's crest

The Uganda Kob and the Grey Crested Crane adorn Uganda’s crest (which bird will replace it in 20 years time when the bird is extinct?)

Taking our love beyond our borders,

Holding hands with our neighbours, helping them see tomorrow

Building hope in their political endeavours,

Nations emerging out of troubled times, pursuing development

All friends of Uganda arise with us to champion Africa’s cause

Raise Africa’s flag,

Standing elegantly above our challenges

Leaving our history behind, to pursue our destiny

boys herding cows near Kasese Muhokya

boys herding cows near Kasese Muhokya

Children of Uganda, happy joyful people, full of life and vigour

Our fertile soils, the sunshine, our bountiful rivers and lakes; ensuring water for life

Yielding harvest in season and out of season

Faithfully feeding the fruits of your womb with rich natural plantain

Flowing with milk and honey, the envy of many

Arise sons and daughters of Uganda, preserve our cherished motherland

Keep Uganda green, keep her alive

Traditional basket hive honey

Is Uganda the biblical “land of milk and honey”?

 

Awaken children of Uganda; shake off the dust of our bad history

Take your position as a righteous nation, a darling of God Almighty,

“Gifted by nature” the world’s destination for happiness and tranquillity,

The yellow sunshine everyday everywhere,

From the heat of Africa’s east coast to the freeze of her Atlantic west coast

The Pearl of Africa’s crown, your resting place!

For God and my country!

Crested Crane, the emblem of Uganda. PHOTO Andy Gooch

Crested Crane, the emblem of Uganda. PHOTO Andy Gooch

 

Interview with Meronie Agaba

The Muzungu: What made you decide to write this poem?

Meronie Agaba: I have a deep passion for my country and humanity at large. If I was a singer I could compose love songs for Uganda!

The spark to write this poem came when the late Kakoma, composer of the Uganda National Anthem, passed on. Others wrote eulogies to him in the newspapers, but I had no access to that audience so I went back to the National Anthem and read it again and again, trying to find out what message he actually wanted to put forward for Ugandans. As I did this, I got a deeper sense and understanding of the anthem and came to appreciate it almost as a living piece of writing since its messages actually portray what Uganda is today. I got my pen and paper and wrote the poem, which I would say came out as a deeper interpretation of the National Anthem.

The Muzungu: So what is your view on the current debate about changing Uganda’s National Anthem?
Meronie: I am against changing the National Anthem. I would rather the National Anthem is interpreted to the people so that Ugandans can relate with it more. The intention of the poem is to reveal the message underlying the Uganda National anthem.

The Muzungu: What are you hoping to achieve with this poem?

Meronie Agaba: I believe that for any relationship to develop and grow, deliberate efforts have to be taken. I want this poem to be a tool that I and others who believe in it can use to inspire, and develop attitudes of young Ugandans to appreciate their country, their role in upholding its pride, conserving nature and more. I want this poem to be a “Love song that every Ugandan can passionately sing for our Motherland.”

The Muzungu: What would you like people to think about when they read your poem?

Meronie Agaba: “Do not take my Motherland for granted! One time she conceived me, she nurtured me in her womb, I fed on her blood, and behold she delivered me. She was still young, green and energetic; she was fertile. Despite the many children, she fed them all, on the green plantain, the milk and the honey. The lakes and rivers that fed her were still fresh and clean. The tree canopies towered above my head; the scent of nature was still abundant, the soils were not yet sick. The wild fruit was still at large, foraging children returned to their homes satisfied, fed by none other but the plentiful Motherland. Now Mother Land is old and faded, the rivers are drying up, the swamps have become people’s living rooms, the tree canopies are bare stumps and the clean breath of nature is gone.

But I cry for a remedy, I say it’s not all over my children. Let’s amend our relationship, let’s reason together, stop killing your lifeline, I am Mother Land, do not hurt me, do not plot against me, do not strip me naked, respect my God-given Status, I am Mother Land!

When I cry you will cry along with me, when I smile you smile along with me! You are educated yes, I do appreciate that, but get some learning I say; I am your Motherland. Be united; you share a common heritage, Conserve nature and environment; without it you will die,

I am your Motherland, without you I would be a forest, but without me you would be homeless!

I am your Motherland, I am your hope, I am your future: I am Uganda!

boat trip Uganda's natural beauty Murchison Falls National Park

Meronie on a boat trip on the River Nile in Murchison Falls National Park enjoying Uganda’s natural beauty

Namara Meronie B. Agaba mnagaba gmail dot com is a Business Development Manager based in Kampala. She is married with children. (No doubt Meron has been talking conservation with her husband Patrick, who I worked with at the Uganda Conservation Foundation for nearly 3 years.

Meronie’s love letter to motherland Uganda was first published in the February 2013 edition of “Tarehe Sita Magazine.”

So what do you think of Meronie’s poem Love letter to Motherland Uganda? Please put your comments below.

If you like her poem please share it on Facebook and elsewhere!

Do you have a story or some advice you’d like to share? Please read the Muzungu’s Guests Posts page for guidelines on the kinds of stories I feature on Diary of a Muzungu.

Turkish Delightful – the restaurant in the sky

How to fly from Uganda to London – fly via Istanbul with Turkish Airlines!

Flying with a national carrier gives you an insight into a new culture.

On my Turkish Airlines flight to London via Istanbul, staff passed down the aisles sharing a huge tray of fresh Turkish Delight. Later we were served small packets of Turkish-grown hazelnuts, figs, walnuts and cherry juice; the Turkish wine and Pilsner lager (Turkish of course!) went down well too. And dinner was still to come …

Diary of a Muzungu visits Istanbul. Suleymaniye Mosque

Suleymaniye Mosque. Diary of a Muzungu visits Istanbul

On our flight from Entebbe to Istanbul, everyone had their own individual entertainment systems and access to the latest films. The sound was good, the touchscreen worked easily and I had plenty of legroom. The seats were very comfy and the planes very clean. Turkish Airlines got me in the holiday mood that’s for sure!

The advantage of being a single traveller is sometimes you’re seated in the area next to the emergency doors, the idea being if you’re not responsible for anyone else, you’re easier to call on in an emergency. You have the option of refusing, but I didn’t mind at all; here I had plenty of extra legroom (and the Muzungu saved herself the unwanted embarrassment of my previous flight!)

I love aeroplane food

I can’t help but get excited when I see the little assembly of food containers on a tray. I guess it takes me back to happy family holidays as a child.

Turkish Airlines flight meal menu

Diary of a Muzungu visits Istanbul with Turkish Airlines

The arrival of dinner was announced with a colourful printed menu listing the starters, choice of main course, desserts and drinks. Vegetarian options are always available (confirm this when you book). None of the food products contain pork.

We were trusted with metal cutlery! (And the food tasted better for it).

There seemed to be a wait between the menus and the food arriving. I realised later it was because bread rolls were being freshly cooked – even at 30,000 feet! The food was excellent, incredibly fresh and very tasty, Turkish Mediterranean flavours like spicy tomato, fresh (not tinned) olives and eggplant; chicken or minced meat were the other options

The Muzungu was met at Istanbul by Hello Tourism

Oh what a treat. Rather than lugging my heavy bags by myself, I was greeted by a very courteous driver at the airport. Within minutes I was whisked away in a very clean SUV, lined with obligatory Turkish carpet. We zoomed into Istanbul city centre. Arriving early Sunday morning meant there was no traffic.

I can see the sea!

“I’m almost in Europe!” I told myself. I never thought I would miss Europe but, despite lack of sleep, my growing excitement told me I had.

View of cruise ship on the Bosphorus, Istanbul

Diary of a Muzungu visits Istanbul with Turkish Airlines. Turkish Airlines provides flights to uganda from london. View of cruise ship on the Bosphorus, Istanbul

After dumping my bags at Olimpiyat Hotel, in the heart of the old city, it was time to explore.

3 – 4000 cruiseships pass through Istanbul every year. These ships are immense, the size of a small town.

 

TURKEY TRAVEL TIPS

  • Keep a print-out of a currency ‘cheat sheet’ in your pocket: it avoids some of the newly-arrived traveler’s confusion between currencies (Ugandan shillings / Euros / Turkish lira). Cheatsheets are so handy, particularly when you first arrive in a new country
  • Buy local: Turkish coffee is 5 Turkish lira, whereas imported cappuccino, for example, is 6.5 lira.

Coffee on the Bosphorus.

Coffee on the Bosphorus. Diary of a Muzungu visits Istanbul with Turkish Airlines.

  • Women travellers: put a headscarf in your bag. You might want to think about covering up your shoulders too, especially if you are entering a mosque while sightseeing.
  • Turkish Airways online check-in: I did struggle a bit with the online check-in system. Much of it is in Turkish. If you get stuck, contact your local booking office.
  • How to purchase your Turkish Airlines ticket: Flights to Uganda from London can be bought online. In Kampala, flights from Entebbe to Istanbul, and flights from Entebbe to London – or anywhere else in the world – can be bought at Turkish Airlines office in Nakasero.
  • Bag wrap: I always use this when I have to change planes. Get your hold baggage wrapped in cellophane when you first check in your baggage; it cost me £9 GBP per item at Heathrow (don’t remember the price at Entebbe) and always gives me peace of mind when my bags are in transit.
  • Do you have problems sleeping on a flight? Here are some travel tips on how to sleep on a plane.

Istanbul airport sign. Turkish Airlines

Diary of a Muzungu visits Istanbul. Turkish Airlines provides flights to uganda from london

  • Transfer without boarding pass: look out for this sign when you are transiting with Turkish Airlines through Istanbul. Go to the information desk and they’ll guide you.
  • At Gate 205, Istanbul airport, there is an excellent little coffee shop. Turkish coffee is by far the cheapest option. Cappuccinos et cetera are very expensive although excellent. You can even have beer and a huge freshly baked simits (sesame seed covered bread ring) or snack. Surely this is how all airport lounges should be?
  • Don’t get off in the wrong country!

Istanbul airport sign. Turkish Airlines

Diary of a Muzungu nearly visits Kigali. Turkish Airlines provides flights to Uganda from London

I flew back to Uganda from Istanbul on an overnight flight. I’d been dozing when the pilot announced we were going to land. I grabbed my things from the overhead lockers.

The bags were heavy and the man next to me got out of his seat to help me. I struggled down the plane aisle, thanked the staff, exited the plane and – just as I was about to walk down the steps onto the tarmac – looked up to see a huge sign saying Welcome to Kigali International airport.

I stopped.

I turned around.

I walked ‘the walk of shame’ back to my seat with 100 people looking at me, suppressing smiles.

The sign at Istanbul airport had clearly mentioned two destinations – but I had been half asleep…

DISCLOSURE: This blog is based on my personal experience. I traveled to Istanbul courtesy of Turkish Airlines. The Istanbul city tour was provided courtesy of Hello Tourism tour agency. For more information about sponsorship and advertising on Diary of a Muzungu, read the Terms and Conditions.

Do you like aeroplane food? Have you visited Istanbul? Have you ever got off a plane in the wrong country?!

Shake your kabina! A musical, dancing tour of Uganda

The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance

Tick-tick-tick goes the bamboo on the calabash.

Sh-sh-sh-shake the seeds in the gourd.

Thump-thump-thump thuds the stick on the taut hide of the drum.

The early evening air in the Ndere Centre’s ampitheatre fills with the rich, bass sound of the harp-like adungu.

Men beat the surface of the drum hard with the flat of their hands. The drumming rises to a crescendo as the women dancers elegantly descend the stairs into the open air Amphitheatre, all brilliant smiles and waving arms. And then it starts!

A group of twelve women shake their hips, moving to a joyful, seductive rhythm. They throw back their heads as they circle the floor to the sound of the dexterous plucking of the adungu. To one side of the stage, five men play a giant wooden xylophone.

Ndere Troupe traditional dancing Kampala Uganda

Shake your kabina! The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance. Photo courtesy of Stephen Legg

Ten drummers and acrobats in bark cloth tunics fly onto the stage, doing press ups and mock fighting and doing press-ups. They SLAP the sides of the drum with sticks. With big grins on their faces, the acrobats race towards the audience, arms flailing and legs akimbo, kicking left and right. Round and round they go. The energy of the Maggunju, the Royal welcome dance of the Baganda, holds the audience captive, ready for our musical and cultural tour of Uganda.

As our host – and cultural ambassador – Stephen Rwangyezi walks down through the audience to welcome us, a little white boy runs up to him and starts playing Stephen’s drum.

“Forget your problems – we are going to take you to the different parts of the country.” Stephen tells us. “Now WE are the donors” – he tells the predominantly Muzungu audience – as we have something in abundance to offer YOU!”

Stephen Rwangyezi. The Culture of Uganda - in rhythm and dance. A musical, dancing tour of Uganda at the Ndere Cultural Centre.

The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance. Stephen Rwangyezi takes the audience on a musical, dancing tour of Uganda at the Ndere Cultural Centre. Photo Ndere.

In Western Uganda, it’s all about the cows.

We listen to the music played to relax the cows. “After walking 20 kilometres each way to drink water, wouldn’t you be stressed?” He asks. Even the okujumeera – the sound of cow mowing is developed into the singing while the thudding of their hooves – is reflected in the dance steps of Western Uganda.

Boys herding Ankole cattle

Boys herding Ankole cattle

Through his anecdotes, Stephen reminds us of the continent’s enormous contribution to global culture. He illustrates how the traditional sounds of Africa can be heard in modern American rap music.

“Who is President Obama?” He asks, but “the Original Black African Managing America.”

We pass through Bunyoro and Toro “where love was first invented.”

We hear a haunting song from Ankole and then we move on to the upbeat sound of the West Nile and the adungu.

The Amphitheatre is filled with a frenetic whirl of colour and a flash of white teeth. KABINARIFIC! The women dancers whip up a storm on the dance floor. Fast and furious, how do the men play those drums so speedily? (I can’t even tap my fingers that fast).

Ndere Troupe Stephen Rwangyezi

Ndere Troupe Stephen Rwangyezi. The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance. A musical, dancing tour of Uganda at the Ndere Cultural Centre. Photo Ndere.

We can’t pass through West Nile without a historical anecdote, of which there are many interweaved throughout the evening. Of Idi Amin, Stephen says “when he was in the country, people were scared. When he was out of the country, people were embarrassed.” He recounts how, time and again, cultural and language blunders rolled out of the then president’s mouth.

Later in the show, children are invited onto the open stage. 27 kids of all ages listen attentively to Stephen’s every word. It’s an unexpected highlight of the evening to see him invite each child to do their turn in the circle. I find it extraordinary to think that not so long ago this dancing was banned. (Even now colonial legislation still exists in Uganda that in theory makes traditional dancing illegal).

As the show draws to an end I recognise the unmistakable whistles of the music that made me first fall in love with Uganda.

The male dancers wear bright green beads around their waists over imitation (I hope) leopard skin tunics. Long colourful beads drape over their shoulders, criss-crossing at the waist. Their headdresses have white tuft-like tails. The women wear thin strings of beads around their foreheads.

“If you dance together you can never be at war.”

Culture of Uganda

Shake your kabina! The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance. Photo courtesy of Stephen Legg

The dancers genuinely seem to love what they do. There’s a great camaraderie and joking around between the dancers and Stephen. Their passion and playfulness is contagious.

How many shows are there in Uganda that you would rush to see more than three times?

“When people in our culture dance, you don’t let them suffer alone – you join in!” So just remember, next time you feel stressed, do as Stephen suggests: “shake your seating facilities.”

The Muzungu recommends:

Watching the Ndere Troupe perform takes me back to my first Kampala night out, courtesy of VSO. The show is a fantastic introduction to Uganda. It’s a real celebration of Africa and everyone should see it. I remember sitting on the edge of my seat thinking, “I’m finally here. I’m in Africa!”

The colour, the energy, the smiles and the humour, the stories… the whole experience was everything I’d imagined Africa to be and more.

Ndere Cultural Center entrance fees

Last published entrance fees below. Please check with the booking office first. Buffet dinner, snacks and drinks are available.

 

  • Adult Ugandans 30,000/-
  • Adult Non Ugandans 50,000/- or $ 15
  • Children Aged 2 to 15 – 15,000/-
    **Note: These prices do not include buffet

 

How to book to see the Ndere Show

Ndere Cultural Centre is on Plot 4505, Kira Road, Ntinda – Kisaasi Stretch

This article was originally commissioned by the Empazi Magazine, the brainchild of Ugandan creative Arnie Petit.

Have you visited Kampala’s Ndere Center yet? What was your favourite part of the show?

Interview with a rebel: Ugandan cultural activist Stephen Rwangyezi

Interview with a rebel: Ugandan cultural activist Stephen Rwangyezi

Stephen Rwangyezi is a fantastic storyteller with a compelling stage presence. What is more, he is a living, breathing – dancing! – Encyclopaedia of Ugandan culture.

In Uganda, Stephen is most famously known as the force behind the Ndere Cultural Centre and the Uganda Development Theatre Association. Internationally, he is perhaps better known for his role in the film The Last King of Scotland.

I was delighted when the Empazi Magazine commissioned me to interview Stephen Rwangyezi. Here are some highlights of our conversation: undoubtedly the most illuminating three hours of my five years living in Uganda.

We discussed dance and development; the impact of colonialism on traditional culture; the issues of homosexuality and born-again Christians; and that all important question: can you teach the Muzungu how to dance like an African?

Stephen Rwangyezi Ndere Centre

Stephen Rwangyezi Ndere Centre.
Of culture: “every day there is something new to be discovered – you can never finish learning about it. It is fathomless.” The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance. Photo Ndere

A former school teacher turned Rural Agricultural economist, Stephen was the Director of the Uganda National Theatre and Cultural Centre from 1990 to 1994. In 2006 he played the character of Jonah Waswa, Idi Amin’s Minister of Health, in the film Last King of Scotland. He is a published author, with a string of films and documentaries to his name.

So Stephen, how did the Ndere Troupe come into being?

It was a practical response to the deep seated anger that had built inside me since childhood – seeing the great arts that gave me most genuine pleasure being derogated as primitive, backward and symbols of evil worship.

When I started the Ndere Troupe, I had two major goals. One was to restore dignity and integrity in the music and dance of Ugandan and African origin, and raise it to the status and look that it should be. For me, that loss of cultural pride was a disaster which led to the loss of self confidence and personal worthiness. So one of my main goals was to ensure that pride and dignity could be rekindled through dignified and artistically beautified cultural activities. The second goal was to work with disadvantaged boys and girls. It was child labour that kept me out of school until I was 15 years of age, but playing the flute got me into, and saw me through, school. Therefore, I wanted to organise boys and girls who had similar talents to mine and ensure that, rather than begging and moaning, they could utilise their talent capital to self actualisation.

In 1987 when I went to my village for a cousin’s wedding ceremonies, I noticed that there were groups of boys who feared HIV AIDS, known as ‘Slim’ in those days. Many people believed it was witchcraft but they had heard of something called a condom, which could kill Slim. So, the young men put some money together to buy one condom, and they used it in turns…. Something that was useful was now becoming dangerous.

I then asked myself: “How do I tell as many of these young people, as quickly as possible, that what they are doing is suicide?”

At that time in Uganda, there was only one newspaper, one radio station and only one TV station that only worked for four hours per day – all based in Kampala. Given that over 87% of the population lived “beyond the last mile” and were illiterate, I decided to use the familiar, attractive and friendly cultural music, dance and drama to spread the message.

Uganda was later credited for having brought down the incidence of HIV AIDS. This was how we did it.

early performance of the Ndere Troupe, Kampala, Uganda

Early performance of Ndere Troupe. The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance. A musical, dancing tour of Uganda at the Ndere Cultural Centre. Photo Ndere

The Ndere Cultural Centre and the Uganda Development Theatre Association

Ndere Cultural Centre has spawned a whole industry and nurtured a whole generation of talented dancers. Dancing, as I quickly found out, is a small part of a much bigger movement.

As with many Ugandan stories, the story of the Ndere Cultural Centre starts off under a mango tree, when a choirmaster and his students agreed to create a performing group that would “change the terrible image painted by colonialists that traditional dances were evil and that whoever performed them could never see eye to eye with God.”

This was in 1984. The group agreed to name themselves the Ndere (‘flute’) Troupe, since it was Stephen’s talent as a flute player that had saved and educated him. The flute was also perceived as the most unifying musical instrument, since it existed in every culture of the world. The group wanted to demonstrate to Ugandans (and the world) who had been engulfed in tribal wars for centuries that we all can share common beauty which already exists in our diverse cultures.

We decided to use music, dance and drama for other public education reasons. Later, when I was Director of the National Theatre, I still made sure I put on at least three plays a year, all across Uganda.

We realised that one group was not enough to effectively serve the whole country. The demand for the efficient dissemination of applied knowledge in different crucial fields was overwhelming. In 1997 the Troupe facilitated the creation of the Uganda Development Theatre Association. The UDTA grew like wildfire, and soon became a nationwide cultural network of development theatre groups, of which there are now 2,084 across Uganda.

Culture of Uganda. Drummers and dancers, Kikorongo, Uganda

Culture of Uganda. Drummers and dancers, Kikorongo, near Kasese / Queen Elizabeth National Park, Uganda

Through UDTA, we take ideas from the local groups and create a national competition, equipping young people with life skills. One of the elements for the national competition is that every member of each group has to do a project, such as growing tomatoes. They then use the music, dance and drama to teach the adjoining communities how to implement this successful project. During the festival, the groups bring their produce and look for a market. Thus UDTA is not only about artistic and public education but a means of developing skills for self-sufficiency.

What has been the key to making traditional dance popular again?

“First, I had to upgrade and update the artistic and design quality of the music and dances – to make them more organised and to appeal to contemporary and rather unaware tastes. Remember that previously, the church and school teaching derogated these arts and manipulated the law to prohibit public presentation of these arts. Therefore the only social dancing was at night – without light. This meant that no one bothered about the choreographic designs, costumes, stage organisations, melodic development etc.

ampitheatre Ndere Cultural Center, Kampala.

Ampitheatre Ndere Cultural Center, Kampala. The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance. A musical, dancing tour of Uganda. Photo Ndere

Once the artistic spectacle became impressive, I spent many years trying to get Ugandans to appreciate the beauty within traditional dance. I found the children not yet prejudiced therefore I offered free dance performances in primary and secondary schools. These had a wonderful reception. The Ugandan audience that we now have is the children of the 1980s that attended those free shows.

Secondly, every Sunday from 1988 to 2003 there was a free performance at the Nile Hotel (now the Kampala Serena Hotel). This helped to introduce these arts to the international communities, tourists and the middle class Ugandans that had returned from exile (having run away from the political turmoil that engulfed Uganda through the 70s and early 80s). The latter were rather nostalgic and keen to introduce their families to values they had long lost – and were therefore more receptive. This is how the audiences that now throng the Ndere Centre, hire us for social and corporate functions, or even invite us abroad, were cultivated

What do Ugandans of a certain age think about your cultural performances?

Throughout the entire colonial period and the post-colonial mismanagement, school, religions and government all worked hard to deliberately destroy Uganda’s cultural framework.

When I was growing up, The Idle and Disorderly Act (of 1918) forbade African dancing during the day. During the night, there was no electricity, so no one was looking at you dance. For that reason nobody developed the dances because you could only dance for yourself. The Witchcraft Act of 1957 was used to forbid the playing of drums and other traditional music instruments such as ensaasi (gourd rattles or shakers). Wearing of traditional attire and ornaments (such as bark cloth and cowry shells) was forbidden. These items were classified as witchcraft and therefore to be confiscated and destroyed by all law enforcing agents and law loving citizens – who inevitably were products of the same system.

Traditional music and dancing in Ugandan schools

Students at St John the Baptist PTC, Ggaba, Kampala performing traditional music and dance in celebration of conservation

Schools belonged to the church and the church ostracised anything cultural. It urged everybody to “shed off the old skin and be born again” lest one would end in the terrible smouldering eternal fire of hell. Children who were not baptised and confirmed in the schools’ faiths were not allowed in school. Practicing traditional arts was believed to be an indicator of low intelligence, which reflected inheritance of worse low intellectual capacity from one’s parents! What a stigma!

Even at university in Uganda, up to now, the Department of Music, Dance and Drama (MDD), is called Musiru dala dala in the vernacular, literally translated as ‘stupid through and through’. So, over time the “civilised” became antagonists against the growth of culture. The MDD in Uganda has degenerated to just accepting those who could not get admission for other professional courses, thus confirming the label of academic inability as the criterion for admission!

What other factors have helped turn this situation around?

From the days of Idi Amin and later, many people went into exile. While in the diaspora, they were confronted with cultural inadequacy and an identity crisis. On return to Uganda, they had nostalgia for their own culture, so they brought their children along to the Ndere Troupe to try and introduce them to what they had missed. We also took deliberate steps to channel some of own school sponsored troupe members into teacher training, so wherever they taught in primary schools they also taught traditional arts.

President Museveni has also helped. He has been culturally sensitive. Besides reinstating the cultural leaders and kingdoms, he regularly invites the Troupe to perform at functions. This raised the status of the troupe/traditional artists in the perception of the public, setting a new trend. More and more people and organisations started including these arts in their functions. The increased demand led more young and well educated people (especially Ndere graduates) to form more cultural troupes. Now you see that whenever there is a public function, there is always cultural dancing.

As if to prove the point, midway through the interview, Stephen answers his phone: Uganda’s Ambassador to Russia is booking seats for the Russian trade delegation.

“Yes your Excellency, we will see you at the show tonight.”

Students performing traditional music and dance in celebration of conservation. culture of Uganda

St John the Baptist PTC, Ggaba, Kampala students performing traditional music and dance in celebration of conservation

Top of my list of questions to Stephen was……. how do you select dancers? And can the Muzungu join too?

Recruitment is mainly for the talented and disadvantaged children whom the Troupe took tasks to look after and pay their school fees. Some dancers pay for their own training but the ones we stay with are those who really need it.

Most of the dancers go to school and others work in different places, so we only train on Sundays. None of them would come knowing all the dances. It takes time to learn them all.

For many people the Troupe is a big stepping stone. There are people who have stayed with us for 20 years and are now part of the management and training structure; but what is the use of education if you’re not going to be able to live on your own? The more people we can churn out, the better for the arts. This is development.

Can you teach the Muzungu how to dance like an African?

The centre is open to anyone wishing to learn how to dance. Some people come to us and ask “I would like to know how you shake your hips.”

“All us Muzungu girls want to learn African dance,” I say, and we laugh.

People ask if they can learn playing a specific musical instrument. Recently a lady came and asked if she could make an adungu. In her two weeks here, she made two.

Young boy learning to play the adungu at Ndere Cultural Center, Kampala

The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance. Young boys learning to play the adungu at Ndere Cultural Center, Kampala. Photo Ndere

Do you have any idea of how many dancers have passed through Ndere?

I have lost count. At the moment we have 72 dancers. It’s always been oscillating between 40 and 70 for the last 28 years.

I have just watched the show for the third time and it seems as fresh as ever. Does the show change much?

“While the structure of the show doesn’t change, we feature different dances of Uganda. These vary in rhythm, technique, purpose, use of body parts, costume, melody, lyrics and use of instruments.”

Stephen describes the show as “an exposition of Uganda” but it could equally be described as an exposition of Africa.

“Uganda is a microcosm of Africa”, he explains. This is not only a result of the movement of tribes and speaking of different languages but the diverse lifestyles of these peoples that has led to evolution of different types of music. The sedentary crop-grower has a house in which he can safely store delicate or large instruments, such as a drum or an adungu. For the cattle-keeper who is constantly on the move, “their music is composed of very light melodies and they carry flutes, fiddles and zithers. When you set the cows grazing, you don’t have anything else to do but sit, thus their music is poetic, based on the lyrics rather than the rhythms. Because Uganda is endowed with natural resources and good weather suitable for all these economic activities, all the African peoples are represented here and their art is performed by Ndere.”

I hear you are working on a new production. What is it about and what is it called?

The play is about the wider perspective of corruption: the ones who are being arrested in Uganda are not the ones who are corrupt nor the originators of corruption.

I normally don’t name plays until I’m finished. For now it’s called Goat’s Ears, from a traditional saying, that if I put the goat’s ears on me, the leopard can hate me, thinking I’m a goat.

Culture of Uganda

Traditional dancing Uganda. Girl students performing dance. Shake your kabina! The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance.

What are your views on the 2012 play that got banned for featuring a homosexual character? People argue that homosexuality doesn’t exist in Africa. What’s your view?

I didn’t get to watch the play read the script, but what I got was the reactions to the story.

Uganda is no different from the West, it’s just a question of timing. There was a time when you went to the West and if you talked about homosexuality, there were very serious repercussions. Now, it is acceptable and even legislated for. The other problem is the unprecedented publicity in the Western media which is being perceived here as deliberate promotion. The same West that persecuted homosexuals yesterday, whose churches ingrained in the brains of their followers that homosexuality was mortal sin, is now the one spearheading the justification for it. People here find this rather confusing, hypocritical and therefore question the intentions for the sudden reversal. The Ugandans who followed and vehemently promoted the Western Christian teaching (where God’s word never changes), castigating and suppressing such practices in the African societies, now find themselves abandoned by the same ideological masters. They are rather embarrassed and do not know how to make the round about turn – hence the fanatic opposition.

Homosexuality has always been here in Uganda; there were even homosexual kings. We have words for homosexuality in the local languages: how could society name something if it didn’t exist?

The main challenge is fanaticism exercised by the so-called ‘born-again’s who I think actually work contrary to the teaching of the same Jesus they profess to follow. Jesus Christ on the cross was open to views of different types of people of all denominations. He said “now it is over for all sinners;” the curtain that used to separate Jews from Gentiles in the temple was torn and the darkness that had engulfed the world vanished! So where do the Christians derive the moral authority to castigate the so-called perverts?

You played the role of Jonah Waswa, Idi Amin’s Minister of Health, in the 2006 film The Last King of Scotland. Would you recommend people watch this film before they come to Uganda, or would you advise against it?

Last King of Scotland film screenshot

Last King of Scotland film screenshot

The problem is when you watch a movie it can turn you off something. However, it might be good to watch the film and then come here and see how much has changed since then.

When I went to the film launch in London and was asked to speak on behalf of all the actors, I said: “This is the first good thing that Idi Amin has done for our country – pointing a light on Uganda in a more entertaining and educational way. Out of all the countries with despotic leaders, past and present, I’m glad that you’ve chosen to highlight Uganda.”

Which words would you use to describe yourself?

Ndere Troupe Stephen Rwangyezi

“Music and dance for me are the great books in which knowledge and philosophies were deposited over centuries.” Interview with Ndere Troupe creator Stephen Rwangyezi. Photo Ndere

“It’s not for me to describe myself, that is for others,“ he said humbly.

“There is a very subversive element to what you do,” I suggest.

“Absolutely. I’ve always known that I’m rebelling. I find that normally, people who create systems to conform to, are doing it for totally other reasons. What preoccupies me is trying to resist manipulative destruction, read the signs correctly and communicate for people who can’t do it for themselves before it is too late. That is what motivates me.”

What does the future hold for you?

“Our only worry for some of us is that we don’t have enough heirs. But at least we shall have done our bit.”

What is your message to the young people of Uganda?

The Culture of Uganda - in rhythm and dance.

The Culture of Uganda – in rhythm and dance.

I believe we all have something unique deep inside us. Look deep inside, find a dream you love the most and go for it. You can achieve a lot if you do not listen and bow to the discouraging forces. You can make an indelible mark if you do not try to be simply like the others. You have the energy.

Money makes things happen but it’s the motivation, the drive and the commitment that are important.

The Muzungu adds: Many thanks Stephen for taking the time to talk to me and Empazi Magazine. I could have sat all afternoon listening to you. I learned so much about Uganda’s history and culture.

This article was commissioned by the Empazi Magazine, the brainchild of Ugandan creative Arnie Petit.

Dear readers: If you haven’t been to Ndere’s excellent live show, you really must visit. It’s not just for tourists: last time I attended, the majority of the audience were African, from across the continent.

Have you seen the Ndere Troupe perform in Kampala? Can you play the adungu?

Why do Muzungu women like dating Rastas?

Someone recently asked me: “Why do Muzungu women like dating Rastas?”

If you want to know what’s really going on in mixed relationships, tell me what you think of this one? Some of the experiences shared our explicit.

I’d never really considered Muzungu / Ugandan relationships in that light, and then I thought – with a pang – of the guy I’d been seeing on and off for a year. At the time it never occurred to me he fitted into that category. It ended disastrously – but it had its moments.

THANK YOU: This article was originally commissioned by Arnie Petit, Editor of Empazi Magazine. Thanks for believing in me Arnie. I hope we get a chance to work together again in the future.

So what did I like about Dr Rasta?

In a (mostly) conservative country like Uganda, you’re often judged on your appearance. If you don’t fit in with the status quo, people are going to comment. Perhaps that’s why I like the Rasta look on some men: I like a man who’s not afraid to stand up for himself when challenged.

In Uganda, Rastas or ‘Rasta lookalikes’ symbolise non-conformism. To us Westerners, that can be hot! – we come from societies where self-expression through your personal image is quite normal, encouraged even.

In Uganda, most people agree that Rastas are “either artists, layabouts or career Muzungu daters.” But are those the real Rastas or just the cosmetic variety?

What is a Rasta really?

Rasta refers (incorrectly) to “any person having dreadlocks.”

“True Rastafarians believe that Ethiopia’s Emperor Haile Selassie a.k.a. Ras Tafari was the second coming of Christ. Rastafarianism is a common religion amongst black Jamaicans and deeply rooted in African culture. Rastas eat a diet of vegetables, fruit and fish and keep their bodies, mind and soul healthy by staying active in global issues. To be Rastafarian you don’t have to be black; in fact Rastafarianism has to come from the heart. A Rasta does not cut his hair. Rastas are famous for smoking marijuana as a symbol of religious practice.”

Real Rastas – of which there are very few in Uganda it seems – do not touch alcohol.

So for the sake of this article, I have thrown the cosmetic and the real into one big cultural melting pot. Real Rastas, please do not take offence. I echo the sentiments of this guy, who said: “Come on people, think about it before you all start judging dem Rastas. RASTA IS SWEET, COOL, CALM AND COLLECTED WITH A SENSE OF TLC (tender loving care) AND REALITY. The beer thing, hehehe too funny… real Rasta don’t drink…”

What do you say Muzungu ladies?

I’ve spent the last few weeks pondering this question and asked girlfriends why do white women go for Rastas? I posted this same question on Facebook – and then it got interesting!

“Date a Rasta? Ugh, no way! You must be joking – you don’t know what’s living in that hair!” Julia said.

Anja echoed my thoughts: “Rastas are generally a lot more liberal than most Ugandans. They’re less conservative.”

To some women, Rastas represent the exotic. Having dreadlocks or being dark-skinned does not define your “Africaness” – but maybe the ‘first time to Africa’ Muzungu hasn’t worked that out yet?

On Facebook, Tio commented “It’s all about perceptions of “exoticness”, which is why you have Bazungu women falling all over themselves for Masaai men, drape, spear and all.”

One attraction of the Rasta is that they’re easy for us Bazungu to recognise them. Why? Because with their shaved heads, every Ugandan man can look the same from a distance – at least when you first arrive in the country. The Rastas stand out, they are easy to spot in the crowd. We don’t have the embarrassment of mistaking one black face for another!

Personally, I like big hair anyway (I guess us white ladies are used to guys with hair!)

Ugandan hair salon sign

“Trust me with u’r stayle” hair salon, near Mubende, Uganda

After four years, each black face is as different to me as every white one but when I first came to Uganda, I couldn’t remember who was who. I would try and remember each lady by their hairstyle. “Rose has a red bob, Sarah has a weave. Got it!” That didn’t help much, as I soon learned Ugandan ladies like to DRAMATICALLY change their hairstyle every couple of weeks!

Back to dem Rastas and, when I asked a male Ugandan friend why do white women go for Rastas? He said “I have the answer and I know I’m right.”

“These Rasta guys have a lot of time on their hands. They don’t work. He’s got plenty of time to show her the sights and show her around. The conversation might not be meaningful but that’s not what either of them is after. These guys know how to play the game,” my male friend said. “They’ll learn how to dance, they’ll learn how to make love.

The Muzungu lady often falls in love with the Rasta. He’ll say he loves her. She’ll then spend the next couple of years going backwards and forwards between Uganda and her home country trying to keep the relationship alive. These girls come and go. There’s always a new supply coming through and any bad behaviour can be forgotten (by him at least) when she leaves the country.”

As one person neatly summed up, “The thing about a Muzungu-Rasta relationship is that it is so disposable.”

Jane, who has several years experience managing volunteers in Uganda, gave her opinion on why Muzungu girls like Rastas:

“Rastas know where the parties are. They tend to hang out in a ‘posse’ so hooking up with a Rasta = instant friends. We know Rastas have essentially unlimited experience with little white girls, so they know how to talk to them. There are no awkward silences. Rastas do not care how dirty the girl’s feet are, or the last time she showered. They only care about whether or not she is buying him beer.

Jane added “They (and many African men) can talk your pants off. Even if you are unattractive by your culture’s standards, they will make you feel like the most beautiful person in the world.”

One Ugandan male advised “if you are gonna hit on a mzungu girl in Uganda, never wear a freaking tie or talk about your big meetings.” He asks “why do mzungu ladies stay clear of corporate/learned Africans? I have ever hit on a mzungu chick before, but I was either too smart an African or I was not talking dumb enough. It is my unschooled and unkempt Rasta friend who scored.”

Ow. Sorry!

Does the Rasta Muzungu relationship start with drugs?

“Most ‘zungu babes I know smoke weed… [the ones this Facebooker knows anyway!] … their suppliers happen to be Rastafarians, I guess one thing leads to another …”

This Muzungu’s theory is that black, white or brown – ‘girls like a bad boy’ – and in this case Rastas often fit the bill (superficially at least). That’s why the Muzungu girls are going with them rather than the corporate Ugandans. If a white girl’s dating a corporate Ugandan, hell she might as well just date a corporate guy from back home. (Where’s the excitement in that?)

Radio or Weazel 'Wizo'

Guess who the muzungu bumps into at Club Silk, Kampala? ‘Wizo’ a.k.a. Weazel

Also on Facebook, Richard adds that the Muzungu girls “think that all Rastas have big Mandingo dicks and last for hours. Whether true or not, Rastas live up to the bad boy reputation with drugs and alcohol binges that, rather incongruously, make them attractive to Beckies traipsing aimlessly around Africa looking for adventure they can’t find back home.” Just say it like it is Richard!

So would this Muzungu lady date a Rasta?

Despite the bullshit, the sweet talk and the dance moves can be very seductive.

I’d go in with my eyes open (and condoms on!) and an absolute certainty that I’m just one of a number he’s playing with. To entertain any other idea is craziness. Exceptions may exist – but my advice? Enjoy the moment, but don’t kid yourself you’ve found the only faithful “Rasta.” So tell me your experience – anonymously if you like! – what’s the attraction between Muzungu women and Rastas?

So tell me your experience?

UPDATE:

What did I say to Julia?

After one dating disaster too many I joked that “if another guy with dreadlocks wants to date me, the first thing he has to do is shave his head.” Next in my dating series: Downtown dreadlocks. The muzungu’s blind date.