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How to date a Ugandan

Aug 6 • 14943 views • 12 Comments on How to date a Ugandan How to...? Uganda travel tips, Travel tips and advice, Uganda

A blog post about dating in Uganda will not suffice. This material fills at least one book!

Ugandan men can be handsome and very charming.

They know how to tell women what we want to hear. Delivery of promises is an altogether different issue!

I’ve had more marriage proposals in the last four years in Uganda than in the whole of my life.

I’ve been promised love, marriage, children (natural and adopted), meeting the family and even a house overlooking Lake Victoria!

And what have I got? My fingers burned – more than once …

I love the idea of having a relationship with a Ugandan man but the reality of mixed relationships is harder than I thought it would be, for many reasons.

Dating Uganda – the Muzungu’s blind date:

It’s quite usual for your male Ugandan suitor to be:

  1. married
  2. living with someone
  3. a father of many children
  4. simultaneously with any number of girlfriends –

– or all four!

Bare-faced lies are very common.

Still, Muzungu ladies are very popular and we all like attention don’t we 😉

Dating Uganda. Mixed Muzungu Ugandan relationships can be challenging. How to date a Ugandan. Dating Uganda

Mixed Muzungu Ugandan relationships can be challenging. How to date a Ugandan. Dating Uganda

Make your own mind up ladies but don’t believe everything you hear. Enjoy the moment, as that’s probably all it is, despite what they say. Just don’t take it too seriously. And insist on condoms every time! Yes I’m being explicit …

The Uganda dating issue is going to run and run!

What’s your experience of mixed race relationships?

Please leave a comment here or check out the Diary of a Muzungu Guest Post page for information on how to submit an article, I’d love to hear from you!

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12 Responses to How to date a Ugandan

  1. martin says:

    According to me, the way you picking your partners matters and determines how the relationship would be in this country. Please agree with me that we are cultured differently. In most cases, Jjajja you apply your western to get a partner in Uganda which MAY not be wrong but …………… A case in point, have you thought about why you more marriage proposals here than in UK?

    • the muzungu says:

      Of course there are many cultural differences between Ugandans and Westerners. It’s one of the many things I enjoy about leaving in Uganda! That said, it is not always clear what our differences are, particularly in close relationships. We often make assumptions about each other’s expectations, without those expectations ever being put into words.
      For example, I wouldn’t expect a man to ask to marry me unless we had been together for months or years. Why has that experience been so different for me in Uganda? Obviously some guys see the Muzungu as the meal ticket / access to jobs / access to a different life etc, and I don’t entirely blame them; even so, which woman is going to take a man seriously if he asks her to marry him first or second time they meet? I’m sure a Ugandan lady would just laugh at such a guy; so why should I entertain his suggestion seriously either?
      Less people get married in the UK; and of those who do, more get divorced. That’s ironic really, sounds like Westerners take marriage even less seriously than Ugandans!
      I’m not sure I quite understand your question tho Martin: are you saying I apply my Western standards when I’m looking for a partner in Uganda? I’m a Westerner, so I probably do. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I am a product of where I grew up; I can never completely escape that, but your value systems do adapt according to where you live. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to live in Africa; I wanted to take on those personal challenges. I have failed more than once in my quest! But “whatever doesn’t break you, makes you stronger” that’s always been my philosophy. And I’ve made some great friends along the way.
      Your Jajja.

      • Joe says:

        Hi Everyone… Please allow me to comment on that topic. I think whether you are back home or in Uganda, you will always find that people date for different reasons… Some would date for the obvious reason of finding that missing puzzle in their lives… However others will date for different things such as: security, friendship, financial gains, jobs, and so many others… This is pretty much the same everywhere I have been… You just have to be clear and open to the other person about what your expectations right from the start…

        • the muzungu says:

          Hi Joe, Thanks for your comment. You are right, it’s always a good idea to understand what your expectations are from a date. I don’t expect to be asked to lend money on a first date though!
          As for the different things that people want from a date, yes we may look for love, friendship, security [you missed out sex!] But financial gain? Jobs? Only in Uganda … bambi

  2. […] Aug 6 › How to date a Ugandan » […]

  3. Tamara says:

    I’ve been talking to a Ugandan guy for the last 3 months. I have some reservations about him. I meet him online. He actually found me in a post I commented on from someone we like in common.
    He plans to travel here this July and I there in November. I’m basically researching everything I can find on the web.
    Do you have any updates?

  4. aida says:

    hi, am in a relationship with Ugandan guy now and we’re 3 years, am so in love with him and his so nice and gentleman, the only problem I have is he never ask me for a marriage but am not hoping he will do, but even do he will not am still in love with him and I will wait for the time he will ask me, and I will keep everything in God hands.

  5. […] “Teddy works in a salon,” she told me. “You can just drop by one day, and check him out first. He won’t know. He’s fed up going out with Ugandan girls who keep messing him around. He said he fancies going out with a Muzungu.” […]

  6. Chloe says:

    Hi, I’m dating a Ugandan man and he’s so gentle, loving and kind. I am so I love with him. He has a lying problem, he keeps lying to me about very small things and big things like where his from, who he dated before, why he doesn’t let me in. His very closed and admitted to having a very big problem. He makes me feel so safe! But I still feel like there a lot going on that I don’t know about. All his friends cannot believe I’m with him and always tells him ‘ such a pretty girl only wants you for money’ and it puts so much strain on our relationship. My biggest fear is that he has another girlfriend in his country or here. He wants to move in with me but I don’t want that. I just feel like he lies to me so much about all the little things how do I know his faithful. He seems faithful but I don’t know.

    • the muzungu says:

      Dear Chloe, thanks for your message. I’m traveling at the moment but will reply when back in Kampala. I think you are right to not want to live with this man just yet. Trust your instincts. Take care.

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