Two hands of bananas guide us on our road trip
Bananas are Uganda’s favourite fast food. They require no preparation, no refrigeration – and they’re cheap; just reach out your arm and you’ll find one – in villages, along the roadside, in the corner shop and balanced in huge bowls on ladies’ heads amongst the traffic jams in downtown Kampala.
I'm not a mathematician but ... if Uganda were an equation, surely: matoke + boda boda = UG?
Baby Dillon can eat four sweet bananas for breakfast!
I arrived at Julia’s covered in banana – they were everywhere I looked. We brought them with us from Kampala, and they quickly turned brown in the hot car.
Fresh bananas were ‘ever waiting’ for the guests at Julia’s.
Three days in the Bush, all banana’d out, we point the car in the direction of the crater lakes of Fort Portal and pass a lady selling fruit under a tree.
“Would you like some more bananas?” Julia asks.
“No thanks.”
I tell you what love, I’ll tell you where you can stick your bananas.
And from 1921, a song that sticks in my head as stubbornly as banana puree clings to my clean trousers ….
1, 2, 3 let’s sing along to: “Yes, we have no Bananas”…
It’s run by a Greek
And he keeps good things to eat but you should hear him speak!
When you ask him anything, he never answers “no”
He just “yes”es you to death, and as he takes your dough he tells you
“Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today
We’ve string beans, and onions
Cabashes, and scallions,
And all sorts of fruit and say
We have an old fashioned tomato
A Long Island potato but yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today”
When he got them in the store, there was fun, you bet
Someone asked for “sparrow grass” and then the whole quartet
All answered “Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today
Just try those coconuts
Those walnuts and doughnuts
There ain’t many nuts like they
We’ll sell you two kinds of red herring,
Dark brown, and ball-bearing
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today
Yes, I don’t think we got soup or pie
You gotta coconut pie?
Yes, I don’t think we got coconut pie
Well I’ll have one cup a coffee
We gotta no coffee
Then watta you got?
I got a banana!
Oh you’ve got a banana!
Hey, Mary Anna, you gotta… gotta no banana?
Why this man, he’s no believe-a what I say… no… he no believe me…
Now whatta you wanta mister? You wanna buy twelve for a quarter?
Well, just a one of a look, I’m gonna call for my daughter
Hey, Mary Anna You gotta piana
Yes, a banana, no
Yes, we gotta no bananas today!
That we are entirely out of the fruit in question
The afore-mentioned vegetable bearing the cognomen “Banana“
We might induce you to accept a substitute less desirable,
But that is not the policy at this internationally famous green grocery
I should say not. No no no no no no no
But may we suggest that you sample our five o’clock tea
Which we feel certain will tempt your pallet?
However we regret that after a diligent search
Of the premises By our entire staff
We can positively affirm without fear of contradiction
That our raspberries are delicious; really delicious
Very delicious but we have no bananas today.
June 6th, 2012
This song’s for you Ma!
June 6th, 2012
how do I get the music on? Pressed everything in sight!
June 8th, 2012
A Bananas Point of View
Have you ever looked at life from the banana’s point of view?
When craving of that lovely taste and thinking just of you!
You’re pulling back its yellow coat, the soft white flesh revealed,
So firm, yet soft, so sweet and moist, now that it’s unpeeled.
Your teeth on edge, saliva flows, you ache to take a bite
But stop a moment, take control, just gaze upon this sight.
A banana…….undressed, the wind upon its naked body for the very first time,
To devour it in a few short, cruel seconds would surely be a crime?!
So pause……….let this new-born infant breathe the air you savour,
There is no rush, you’re hungry yes, but wait, improve the flavour.
Hold it up, turn it round, treat it to the sun
Let it glimpse this new-found light that’s only just begun.
Then, when those dazzling rays have pierced its flesh, made it warm and tender,
Place that meat between your teeth…………..squeeeeeeze……………taste…………. aaaah ……………..feel its sweet surrender.
RMO
June 10th, 2012
Lizziema, refresh the page. We did have a teething problem playing on ipads. Should work now?
June 10th, 2012
Took a sneaky peek at your web page the other day in work – forgot you had the music on. The accountant thought it was very good, especially when I told him I was looking at a cultural site about Uganda!
June 10th, 2012
More suggestions on music for the web site welcome! Sorry to grass you up for reading my blog at work
June 11th, 2012
Dear RMO
A word from our sponsors, the Banana Liberation Front:
“Why ‘go to breakfast on en egg’ when our bendy friend can light up our morning so?”
What a happy bunch we are! Time for work, gotta split x
July 1st, 2012
My cat Monty
Tomcat, tomcat learning flight
Ginger, striped and four feet white
Leaping from a tree unheard
A furry, whiskered, wingless bird
Tomcat, tomcat stalking mice
Patient, still, sharp claws the price
Waiting, watching, scenting prey
Unwary rodetn softly slay
Tomcat, tomcat on the lawn
Sun beats down, you lie and yawn
Your ‘yoga’ leg raised in the air
You wash and stretch wthout a care
Tomcat, tomcat loves to fight
Awesome, snarling, squealing bite
Pummelled feet and swinging paw
Gaping wounds from hammered claw
Tomcat, tomcat won that night
Black cat ran from ginger fright
Tufts of fur and swollen ear
Ginger, swipe, and show no fear
Tomcat, tomcat hungry now
Purring, calling, he knows how
Fresh-filled dish with food once more
Vital fuel for cat-o-war
Tomcat, tomcat by the fire
Green eyes drifting, dark desire
Gazing, lazing, logs of heat
Warming smell from padded feet
Tomcat, tomcat in the night
Ginger, striped and four feet white
You disappear when darkness falls
And never come when ‘daddy’ calls
Tomcat, tomcat got it made
Another life you wouldn’t trade
A catlike bliss, supreme, sublime
No stress, no work, no sweat, no time.
RMO
July 1st, 2012
Hi CB, (or is that Ceebee)
I thought BLF stood for ‘Banana Licking Fiends’ Or maybe ‘Bananas Live Forever’
or ‘Bananas….Ludicrous Fruit’ or ‘Bananas Lack Finesse’………………………oh I don’t know??
I love them anyway. Hope you are well ‘Beauvoisin Likes Friends’
Rxx
July 3rd, 2012
Tomcat, tomcat what say you?
Who asks your view – anyhoo?
Two young ladies moving in
Ginger, pull those claws back in!
lol x x
July 3rd, 2012
RMO – Bananas for breakfast! And bananas for dinner? Apparently they help you sleep….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
July 6th, 2012
Bananas truly are Ludicrous Fruit!
But if someone offered you a straight one, you couldn’t take it seriously could you? Somehow – It Would be Wrong.